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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarize the informationby selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarize the informationby selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph and table show international
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 in two countries Brazil and the Democratic Republic of
Cango
Correct your spelling
Congo
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is evident that all 3
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 of increased,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 most significant sector worldwide was
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
agriculture with a
consist
Replace the word
consistent
show examples
 increase all of
years
Add an article
the years
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 the table
has
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 a much higher
consumption
Use synonyms
 in 3 categories in 2000. As the graph shows,
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for agriculture rose dramatically throughout the 20th century.In 1900,it started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 1.000
kilometres
Use synonyms
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
peaked
3,000
Change preposition
at 3,000
show examples
kilometres
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
,industrial
use
Use synonyms
 showed a slower increase, starting at around 200
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 and rising to approximately 600
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
. Domestic
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 remained the lowest, increasing gradually from 100 to about 300
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 for all period.
Secondly
Linking Words
,the table
Brasil
Correct your spelling
Brazil
 has a population of 176 million with 26,500
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of irrigated land.
Then
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 its
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 per person is
considerebly
Correct your spelling
considered
 higher at 359 meters.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the Cango has a population of only 5.2 million, and a few irrigated land,only 10o
kilometres
Use synonyms
.The
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 per individual in Cango is very
law
Correct your spelling
low
show examples
,with just 8 metres.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, consumption, kilometres with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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