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Band 7

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
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the graphs illustrate the difference in the
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 in four countries between men and
women
Use synonyms
 in the range of age 60 and 64 within two accounted years: 1970 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 in the 1970s, there was little difference in the
employment
Use synonyms
 rates in the four countries in the men
sector
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 but more fluctuation in the
women
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sector
Use synonyms
, in the 2000s, the male
sector
Use synonyms
 had
also
Linking Words
 witness a fluctuation occurred mainly by a significant dwindling of the
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the man
sector
Use synonyms
, Japan had the highest
employment
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rate
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 in 1997 with 84%, more than 10%, 5% and 11% than Austarlia,
Belgium
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 and the US, respectively. The same occured with the Japanese
women
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's
employment
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rate
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 of 43%, but the difference was more significant: more than 35% and 25% in Australia and
Belgium
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, respectively.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
 trends still occurred in the
women
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sector
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 in 2000 - with Australia and the US increasing by 1% and 2%, and Japan and
Belgium
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 decreasing by 3% and 1% - the men's
sector
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 in 2000 had decreased significantly: a lost of 80% and 33% in
Belgium
Use synonyms
 and Australia, respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, rate, women, sector, belgium with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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