IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the average cost of a monthly contract for 4 different mobiles in a European country from January to September 2002, measured in euro.

The chart below shows the average cost of a monthly contract for 4 different mobiles in a European country from January to September 2002, measured in euro.
#cost #contract #mobiles #european #country #january #september #euro
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The above line graph
reveal
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reveals
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 data that detected in
euro
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euros
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of
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apply
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the
avarega
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average
prices
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price
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 changes of four
diffirent
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different
type
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types
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 of
smarphones
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smartphones
 in
European
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a European
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country
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countries
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 from January to September 2002.
Overall
, it is noticeable that
domo mobile
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Domo Mobile
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 had the strongest average cost
on
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at
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 the start of the year.
While
 Alpha gadgets received the weakest price
on
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in
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 January .
However
, the other devices
was
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were
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 in between the two.
Its
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It's
It is
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 evident that
Alpha
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Alpha's
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 cost had
growth
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grown
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 gradually from 5
on
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in
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 January to 7
on
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in
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 April. Releated to sim TX was 9 on Jan
then
 started to increase gradually to reach the
peek
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peak
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 on June to 14.
In contrast
, The average price of
lex
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Lex
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 shows
significant
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a significant
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 decline from 13 to 10 in one month
then
start
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starts
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rose
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to rise
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up
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apply
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. Demo, lex and alpha
number
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numbers
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 dipped
on
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in
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 Jun.
In addition
,
on
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in
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september
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September
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 alpha received the highest score
to
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of
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 25.
However
, the number of sim tx sharply decreases to be the lowest average which is 7. The
others type
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other types
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 of mobile stay fluctuated.
Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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