IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #future #planet #species #support #life
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There is an ongoing debate that in the upcoming decades, environmental troubles will
go
Verb problem
get
show examples
 worse. It means that we are unable to survive on the
earth
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. For survival,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human beings will have to find another
planet
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 that can provide facilities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 human
life
Use synonyms
. I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion, because other
planets
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 are extremely hot or
excessive
Change the word
excessively
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 cold. Basic
life
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 necessities are still limited
at
Change preposition
to
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 other
planets
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. So,
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instead
Add a comma
instead,
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 try to make the
earth
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 a better place to live rather than
migrated
Wrong verb form
migrate
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 to a different
planet
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. First and foremost,
Earth
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 all the basic needs of
life
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such
Linking Words
 as water, air and oxygen which can not be found on any other
Use synonyms
planets
Fix the agreement mistake
planet
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.
Additionally
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,
Earth
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
moderate
Add an article
a moderate
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 temperature,
while
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 other
planets
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 are extensively hot or cold. Humans can not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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live at these degrees.
For example
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, Mercury
are
Change the verb form
is
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 extremely hot. Human
life
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 can easily burn there.
On the other hand
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, Neptune
are
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is
show examples
 deadly cold.
As a result
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, people will freeze there.
Furthermore
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, some
planets
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 are like
desserts
Correct your spelling
deserts
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, because there is no source of water there. So, the chances of human survival are impossible
in
Change preposition
on
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 other
planets
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, no doubt technology is increasing day by day, but human beings are still not economically stable to shift to another
planet
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. Nowadays, it can be clearly seen that
,
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apply
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 a lot of money is required to build a one space rocket.
For example
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, in 2004,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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construct
Wrong verb form
constructed
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 a space rocket
of
Change preposition
for
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 about $150,000 which still
fail
Wrong verb form
failed
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due to
Linking Words
 some minor technical glitch. So, from my perspective, it is not possible to build billions of space rockets for shifting to another
planet
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.
Instead
Linking Words
, focus on making
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 a better place to live, In Conclusion,
life
Use synonyms
 on another
planet
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could
Correct your spelling
would
show examples
 not be possible in any way, because of major factors like temperature, water and air. Another reason is that the technology is not still advanced for moving to another
planet
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, making
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 a better place to live is the only viable solution.
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task achievement
Work on developing more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. This will help to strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the clarity of your writing by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly from one idea to the next. Using transition words and phrases can help with this.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined and effectively frame the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and the main points are generally supported.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable development
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity loss
  • climate change
  • greenhouse gases
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitable planets
  • space colonization
  • terraforming
  • ethical dilemmas
  • resource allocation
  • technological advancements
What to do next:
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