IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Your child is going on a trip to another country for 3 days. School is looking for some parents who can join the trip and you decided to apply for the same. You are interested in going with trip. Write a letter to the head of the school and include: – Why you want to join the team – What you can do to assist – Queries related to the trip.

#child #trip #country #school #parents #head #team #queries
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to
show
Verb problem
express
show examples
 my interest in a
trip
 which your
school
 is planning to go
in
Change preposition
on in
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 October. My name is Sim, And I am
father
Add an article
a father
the father
show examples
 of your
school
 student whose name is
jim
Change the capitalization
Jim
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. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
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 thank you for organizing the
trip
 to
Dubai
. I am interested in
to join
Change the verb form
joining
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 it, as I have been
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there so many times.
Last
 week I got to know about
this
trip
 and I was so happy that my son is going to
Dubai
 for
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 time, but when he said my
school
 is looking for some guardians to join them I was over the moon. I would be a great helper with you to manage the whole
trip
 with
school
 kids.
As well as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 I can see it is a
trip
 for 3 days so we will have plenty of time to show every important
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
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of
Change preposition
about
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dubai
Change the capitalization
Dubai
show examples
 to
children
Correct article usage
the children
show examples
.
Dubai
 is a beautiful country,I
also
 know some nice and beautiful hotels over there so, it would be
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
great if I
would
Correct your spelling
could
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 join the
trip
. Looking forward to
hear
Change the verb form
hearing
show examples
response
Add an article
a response
show examples
 soon. Yours sincerely Sim
Submitted by kaursaijbir on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve coherence and make the letter easier to follow.
task achievement
Pay attention to punctuation and grammar to improve clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
The letter includes all the necessary information: why you want to join, how you can assist, and any queries about the trip.
suitable writing tone
The letter maintains a polite and respectful tone throughout, which is appropriate for the audience.

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