The young generation should choose their own profession by them selves . If they work in their chosen job, they will be satisfied with their work and they will enjoy their occupation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Career
choice is important nowadays.
Although
some
suggests
Change the verb form
suggest
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that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
ought
Add the word
ought to
show examples
be realistic about their future when choosing a
job
, I think they should be free to decide which
career
is best for them. The young generation should choose their own
profession
by
them selves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
. In
this
regard, from a psychological point of view, young
people
can put a lot of effort into their
work
because they enjoy doing it. If they
work
in their chosen
job
, they will be satisfied with their
work
and they will enjoy their occupation.
For example
, if
people
work
at
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
according to
their interests, they will pass their working time as
daily
Add an article
a daily
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routine.
Also
, they will have
Add an article
a more
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
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longer
career
as they get content from their
job
.
Therefore
,it is recommended for
people
to choose their professions
according to
their interests Teenagers should think more realistically about their future
work
. If young
people
choose their
profession
thoughtfully, they will master it more efficiently and quickly.
Moreover
, in the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
they will occupy jobs which will be more well-paid and they will achieve goals more effectively.
For example
,
people
who are professionals in their
work
today have chosen their
profession
more realistically.
Thus
,youngsters are advised to choose their jobs more realistically. In conclusion, if a teenager has a
career
of their choice, they will not be pressured at
work
.
However
, minors become more proficient in their careers if they make more realistic
career
choices. I personally think so young
people
should have the right to freely choose their
profession
.
Otherwise
, it will affect their satisfaction and happiness in life.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical structure of paragraphs by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas. This will enhance the overall flow and make the essay easier to read.
Task Achievement
Including more specific examples can help support your points and provide concrete evidence for your arguments.
Task Achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and varied sentence structures to make your writing more dynamic and engaging.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, framing the discussion well.
Task Achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints thoroughly and gives a clear opinion.
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