In many countries, people are not looking care of their elderly relatives but seeking help of professionals to look after them. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
People
are handing over the well-being of their elderly members
of their family to professional caregivers rather than themselves in many nations. This
essay also
agrees with this
initiative because this
puts a relieve
on Replace the word
relief
families
to reduce the burden off their shoulders, and the older family member can be taken care
of in a better way by professionals.
The primary reason people
hand over the care
of their elderly family members
to professional caregivers is because
they cannot do it the way they should do it; Replace the word
that
that is
why they seek help from those who are trained in this
specific field of welfare. On the other hand
, nowadays people
are busy with daily life and want to hand over this
crucial task to professionals to pay respect to their elderly. For example
, in my developed countries, there are designated shelters
that provide services to retirees and older people
, whereby families
are paying for the services of these shelters
to take care
of their older family members
.
The second main reason is that, for the wellbeing
of these older Correct your spelling
well-being
members
, some of the older people
need special care
, which most families
are not capable of doing so, and only the elderly home shelters
can provide; however
, some retirees save money for their retirement, and they go to these shelters
voluntarily to live in the rest of their lives. These places are specially designed to take care
of the elderly in a great environment with all social and cultural activities. For instance
, in the USA, 80 percent
of Change the spelling
per cent
people
save some amounts
of money during their longevity for retirement and live in Fix the agreement mistake
amount
shelters
with better care
.
In conclusion, the trend that people
are seeking support of
Change preposition
from
professions
for the Replace the word
professionals
wellbeing
of their elderly family Correct your spelling
well-being
members
has become prevailing. Firstly
, most members
of families
are busy with overwhelmed schedules and are not able to pay additional care
to their elders, which is very critical in many cultures; secondly
, some of the retired members
need special care
, which only those who are professionals in this
area can handle appropriately.Submitted by am.edrees on
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Language Use
Aim to use more varied and sophisticated language to demonstrate a higher level of vocabulary and grammar proficiency.
Structure
Consider using more complex sentence structures to enhance the essay's readability and depth.
Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing both the reasons for and the benefits of professional care for the elderly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly states the main points that will be discussed, and the conclusion effectively summarizes them.
Task Response
The use of examples such as the situation in the USA strengthens the argument and adds relevance to the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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