The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend

The

employees

should get more holidays and

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

working days. Getting more

weekends

will be

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for workers,

however

, it is

also

will be

Add an article

a disadvantage

show examples

disadvantage

Replace the word

disadvantageous

show examples

for

company

Correct article usage

the company

show examples

or employers because working less means less productivity. I agree, with

this

point of view because

employees

will get time that they can spend by doing their hobbies. There will be a lot of advantages if workers will receive longer

weekends

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

they can spend more time with their family and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

parenting their child.

Also

, they can avoid

Remove the article

apply

show examples

stress with a few working days and become more productive.

This

is a good idea because a lot of parents can not give their

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

sufficient attention because of

Correct pronoun usage

their job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

Also

, more and more

people

suffering from stress

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can decrease lifespan. And I admit

this

opinion.

Furthermore

, I particularly disagree with

this

point of view because

employees

serve other

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

and if there

will be

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

weekend

Fix the agreement mistake

weekends

show examples

people

may not get some

serve

Replace the word

service

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

weekends

For instance

womens

Correct your spelling

women

show examples

can not go to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

beauty salons, because, they are not working today.

Also

workers

Change noun form

workers'

worker's

show examples

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

can decrease because they are working less now.

However

, there is a solution

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

problem

people

can receive

weekends

in turn. When one group

will

Verb problem

show examples

working others can rest. In conclusion, giving longer holidays

for

Change preposition

show examples

employees

will be

Correct quantifier usage

more benefical

show examples

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

than

existing

Correct article usage

the existing

show examples

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

Also

, it

increase

Change the verb form

increases

show examples

productivity and

people

will be less

stressfull

Correct your spelling

stressful

Ant=other

Correct your spelling

Another

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

reason why I agree with

this

idea is

perents

Correct your spelling

parents

can spend more time with their child.

Submitted by oglanbek.b08 on Sat Sep 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Aim to improve the clarity of your ideas by organizing them more logically. Use clearer transitions between points to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

While you have provided reasons for both sides of the argument, the essay would benefit from a more balanced analysis of opposing viewpoints.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly and persuasively.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a shorter workweek.

task achievement

The writer shows an understanding of potential impacts on employees and companies.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains an introduction and conclusion, maintaining a standard essay structure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

productivity
burnout
motivation
mental well-being
work-life balance
job satisfaction
pollution levels
traffic congestion
consumer spending
economic implications
leisure and service sectors

What to do next:

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The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Boxing is a blood sport which often results in physical injury. It is inappropriate for this sport to exist in the modern age. Do you agree or disagree?

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advanatges?

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?

Some people say that ut is better to work in the large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?