The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
The workers should get more holidays and less working period. Getting more weekends will be beneficial for employees,
however
, it is also
will be a disadvantage for the company or employers because working less means less productivity. I agree, with this
point of view because employees will get time that they can spend by doing their hobbies.
There will be a lot of advantages if labourers will receive longer rest days. For example
, they can spend more time with their family and parenting their child. Also
, they can avoid stress with a few working periods and become more productive. This
is a good idea because a lot of parents can not give their children sufficient attention because of their jobs. Also
, more and more people suffering from stress which can decrease lifespan. And I admit this
opinion.
Furthermore
, I particularly disagree with this
point of view because workers serve other people and if there are more weekends humans may not get some service on holidays. For instance
, women can not go to beauty salons, because, they are not working today. Also
, worker's salaries can decrease because they are working less now. However
, there is a solution to this
problem people can receive weekends in turn. When one group is working others can rest.
In conclusion, giving longer rest days for employees will be more beneficial than existing ones. Also
, it increases productivity and humans will be less stressed. Another reason why I agree with this
idea is parents can spend more time with their children.Submitted by oglanbek.b08 on
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task achievement
Provide a more balanced view by acknowledging both the potential advantages and disadvantages for the company and employees in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar to avoid confusion and to communicate ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use a richer variety of linking words to enhance flow and coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Good job presenting both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Arguments supporting your standpoint, such as how longer weekends can benefit families, are relevant and insightful.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite