the chart below shows the spending by 18-20 year olds in one country on five different products in 2010 and 2014

the chart below shows the spending by 18-20 year olds in one country on five different products in 2010 and 2014
The bar chart illustrates young
people
who are around 18-20 years old in one country spending time on 5 different
products
between 2010 and 2014 . In general,
it is clear that
food
products
were the most
products
that young
people
bought in 2010 and 2014 .
by contrast
,
books
products
were the least remaining
products
. On the one hand , between 2010 and 2014 young
people
tend to buy lots of food around 3700
million
to 4500
million
dollars
.
in contrast
,
books
were the least purchased product with 100
million
dollars
in the same year.
Furthermore
, clothes still maintained
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
stayed
Verb problem
aged
show examples
18 to
20-year-olds
Correct your spelling
20 years
who spent 2500
million
dollars
in both years .
moreover
, in 2010 , smartphones were at 2000
million
dollars
.
However
, in 2014 it increased by 700
million
dollars
and made 2700
million
dollars
.
On the other hand
, the purchase of toiletries
products
slightly increased from about 1900 to 2000
million
dollars
.
also
,
books
maintain a decreased drastically. In 2014, it became half compared to 2010. Particularly , 500
million
dollars
spent on
books
.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, products, books, million, dollars with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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