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Band 5.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
Numerous individuals would rather own a
home
, and they disclose it has considerable importance for them in some specific countries.
This
 preference stems from many reasons. In the following, both sides of
this
 viewpoint and factors that lead to
this
 trend are elaborated. Several factors have affected
this
issue
. As a contributing factor, whenever
people
 have a
home
, they do not have to afford money
for renting
Change preposition
to rent
show examples
 every month or every year.
Hence
, they are able to save their money for more essential goals which they have in their lives.
In addition
, if
people
 own a
home
, they can unwind easily, and they get away from financial issues more easily than other
people
 who do not have a
home
. These reasons,
thus
, cause the present attitudes of
people
 in these countries.
This
issue
, similar to other issues, has positive and negative aspects. One prime negative point about
this
 circumstance is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
 time, a myriad of
people
 would rather purchase a house, and the price of houses dramatically increases and can cause several economic crises.
In contrast
,
people
 who do their best to obtain money for purchasing a house
that they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have a higher motivation and enthusiasm in comparison with other
people
 who do not care about possession
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
house.
This
issue
,
thus
, has some advantages and drawbacks
make
Correct pronoun usage
that make
show examples
this
issue
 a positive or negative situation. To sum it up, from my standpoint, irrespective of all the mentioned factors which bring about a positive situation,
this
issue
 has negative aspects which I argue that it is not the appropriate trend.
Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on

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task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning specific economic crises caused by rising house prices would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of the essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clear flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of owning a home, which addresses the prompt effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and provide a good framework for the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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