IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 0.5

Benefits of involving students in rule making process are many; the most significant one is that it fosters a sense of accountability and responsibility among them.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
A commonly held view is that children must participate in the process of establishing school regulations. Yet there remains a contentious debate as critics tend to believe that adults should be the sole decision-makers.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyze both viewpoints and present my perspective on the matter.
Benefits
Correct article usage
The benefits
show examples
 of involving students in
rule making
Correct your spelling
the rule-making
show examples
 process are many; the most significant one is that it fosters a sense of accountability and responsibility among them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to include specific examples to support your claims. This adds depth and credibility to your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction is good but consider providing a more detailed thesis statement that clearly outlines the points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the main points are developed thoroughly in separate paragraphs for clarity and better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding a concluding paragraph to summarize and reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay introduces a clear debate on the topic, which engages the reader.
task achievement
The statement about fostering accountability and responsibility is a strong point and aligns well with the topic.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: