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Writing Samples
Band 4

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skill such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#schools #focus #success #examinations #skill #cookery #woodwork #school #friends
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In every country on the planet, there is disagreement around the topic of school education and essential skills learning. Some folks assert that schools ought to only
educational
Add a missing verb
do educational
show examples
 studies, and should not teach any skills task like painting. Notwithstanding with condition, they feel these tasks should
teach
Wrong verb form
be taught
show examples
 by their peers and parents. I
am totally disagree
Change the verb form
totally disagree
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 with
this
assert
Replace the word
assertion
show examples
.
To begin
 with, essential chores are important in life in numerous ways.
Submitted by taniamall786 on

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task achievement
While you have begun to address the topic—which is great—you need to provide more specific and coherent arguments to support your position. Explain why you believe skills like cookery, dressmaking, and woodwork should be taught in schools, and provide examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your structure needs more development. Make sure to include clear and distinct paragraphs for each point you discuss. For example, start with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs each focusing on a single argument, and conclude with a summary.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow and connectivity between your sentences and paragraphs. Using cohesive devices like 'Firstly,' 'In addition,' 'Therefore,' and 'Finally' can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
You have introduced the topic well, which sets a good stage for further discussion.
coherence cohesion
It's good to notice your position is clearly stated, making it easy for the reader to understand where you stand on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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