IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The first
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the amount of
energy
Use synonyms
Austrailian
Correct your spelling
Australians
 spend during the household, and the second
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the proportion of
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions by using that. It can be seen that
Austrailian
Correct your spelling
Australia
 used more than four-fifths of
energies
Fix the agreement mistake
energy
show examples
 in heating
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and heating water,
other
Correct word choice
and other
show examples
 appliances
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
followed. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
energy
Use synonyms
 usage figures, it is shown that
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
components
Fix the agreement mistake
component
show examples
 of
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions was heating water.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the number of appliances' emissions was
amost
Correct your spelling
almost
most
 near to water heating,
while
Linking Words
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of using
energy
Use synonyms
 was halved. We can
also
Linking Words
 see that the proportion of Lighting and refrigeration was doubled from
Use synonyms
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
gas
Correct article usage
the gas
show examples
 emission
chart
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 many
hoseholdings
Correct your spelling
households
 emitted
gas
Use synonyms
 over their used
energy
Use synonyms
, heating was
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 one that emitted
loser
Replace the word
a smaller
show examples
 percentage of
gas
Use synonyms
 than their
usuage
Correct your spelling
usage
 of
energy
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by susie0104 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, energy, gas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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