The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The charts illustrate the proportion of Australian household

energy

Use synonyms

utilization and

gas

Use synonyms

emission

Fix the agreement mistake

emissions

show examples

produced by it.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is evident that Australian households mainly use heating

energy

Use synonyms

and

gas

Use synonyms

emission

Fix the agreement mistake

emissions

show examples

dominantly come from water heating. There is no positive correlation

Change preposition

between

show examples

energy

Use synonyms

use and the

gas

Use synonyms

emission

Use synonyms

create

Wrong verb form

created

show examples

. Regarding

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the first chart, there is 42% of heating

energy

Use synonyms

used by Australian

household

Fix the agreement mistake

households

show examples

, making it

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the dominant consumption.

Following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, 30% of the communities utilize

water heating

Add a hyphen

water-heating

show examples

energy

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

other

appliances

Change the noun form

appliance

show examples

usage is 15%, refrigeration utilization is only half of it (7%).

In contrast

Linking Words

, the consumption of lighting and cooling

energy

Use synonyms

shows only 4% and 2%, respectively. Moving to the second chart, the largest

gas

Use synonyms

emission

Use synonyms

is generated from water heating, accounting for 32% of total output. Other appliances'

gas

Use synonyms

production follows with 28% of

total

Add an article

the total

show examples

proportion.

Then

Linking Words

, heating and refrigeration have a similar rate of

emission

Use synonyms

creation, which are 15% and 14% respectively.

While

Linking Words

lighting contributes to 8% of total

gas

Use synonyms

emission

Fix the agreement mistake

emissions

show examples

, cooling exhibits the least

emission

Use synonyms

contribution with only 3%.

Submitted by chocolate10 on Sun Sep 29 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas, emission with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

173 words

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowdays many students have the opportunity to study some or all of their course in a foreign country. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?