The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The above first pie chart reveals data on the average

energy

Use synonyms

used in Australian Households

while

Linking Words

the other chart demonstrates the Australian

Households

Change noun form

Households'

show examples

greenhouse

gass

Correct your spelling

gas

emissions resulting from

energy

Use synonyms

consumption. The most significant feature is the heating proportion of

energy

Use synonyms

used had the highest score.

While

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

water heating was the strongest in gas emissions.

However

Linking Words

, the weakest rate in both

gases

Use synonyms

and

energy

Use synonyms

was related to cooling which is 3% and 2%. It's noticeable that the heating percentage sharply decreased from 42% in

energy

Use synonyms

used to 15% in

gass

Correct your spelling

gas

evaporation.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the number of other

application

Fix the agreement mistake

applications

show examples

showed

dramatically

Change the adverb

dramatic

show examples

growth from 15% in

energy

Use synonyms

consumed to 28% with

gases

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, lighting and refrigeration exhibited a similar increasing pattern from 4% and 7% to 8% and 14% in

Use synonyms

gases emission

Fix the agreement mistake

gas emissions

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

, the percentage of heating had 42% in

energy

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

started to drop to 15% with

gases

Use synonyms

Whereas

Linking Words

the score of water heating

was remain

Wrong verb form

remained

show examples

stable

approximately

Change preposition

at approximately

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the same range from 30% to 32%.

Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on Sun Sep 29 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gases with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

164 words

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the itadvantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?

Some people think that only government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals have a lot of influence. What is your opinions?