IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words
#minutes #first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The above first pie chart reveals data on the average
energy
 used in Australian Households
while
 the other chart demonstrates the Australian
Households
Change noun form
Households'
show examples
 greenhouse
gass
Correct your spelling
gas
 emissions resulting from
energy
 consumption. The most significant feature is the heating proportion of
energy
 used had the highest score.
While
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water heating was the strongest in gas emissions.
However
, the weakest rate in both
gases
 and
energy
 was related to cooling which is 3% and 2%. It's noticeable that the heating percentage sharply decreased from 42% in
energy
 used to 15% in
gass
Correct your spelling
gas
 evaporation.
In contrast
, the number of other
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
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 showed
dramatically
Change the adverb
dramatic
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 growth from 15% in
energy
 consumed to 28% with
gases
.
Moreover
, lighting and refrigeration exhibited a similar increasing pattern from 4% and 7% to 8% and 14% in
gases emission
Fix the agreement mistake
gas emissions
show examples
.
In addition
, the percentage of heating had 42% in
energy
then
 started to drop to 15% with
gases
.
Whereas
 the score of water heating
was remain
Wrong verb form
remained
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 stable
approximately
Change preposition
at approximately
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with
Change preposition
apply
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the same range from 30% to 32%.
Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gases with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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