Children today play very violence games. This must be the reason for the increse in violence and crime in most major cities of the world.

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Nowadays most

adolescences

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adolescents

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tend to use plenty of

video

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games

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;

instead

Linking Words

of traditional gaming activities majority of internet

games

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are involved with the victory of violence. What

this

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essay argues is whether the

adoptability

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adoption

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video

Use synonyms

games

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is affected by crimes in vital towns all over the world. On one hand, there is a trend of selecting cloud

games

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which mostly use gaming weapons

such

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as guns and swords. In fact, modern children are used to

Wrong verb form

being

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isolated in their own imagination, where they do not feel a sense of community.

Whereas

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, traditional

games

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are nurtured to work together and respect each other.

On the other hand

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, violent

video

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games

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are not allowed to develop the brains of individuals. Even though, there are particular virtual activities which definitely enhance children's knowledge.

For instance

Linking Words

, it can be mentioned that virtual chess

games

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and word creation

also

Linking Words

It is clear that

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violent

games

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have a considerable affection towards the nasty behaviour of modern kids.

However

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, playing those

games

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is not only the reason for the behaviour that may take place

further

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reasons so on.

For example

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, a kid's family background, circle of friends and even schools can be mentioned. Nasty crimes, burglars and other anti-social violation activities are being taken place

due to

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the country's policies.

To conclude

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, there is an involvement of violent

games

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for social security.

Moreover

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, it is not only the case of violating social security.

According to

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my point of view, I believe that adolescents should be going forward with modern technology

while

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maintaining social interaction with each other.

This

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essay argued the connection between violent

video

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games

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and the rise of violence and nasty crimes in populated cities all over the world.

dilkiapsaraSun Sep 29 2024

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task achievement

Your essay covers the topic, but ensure that each idea is fully developed and explained to enhance clarity.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points, as this would make your argument more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Structure each paragraph consistently to improve the logical flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on the transitions between your ideas to make the essay read more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Review grammar and word choice to improve precision and clarity.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your essay well.

task achievement

You address multiple perspectives, which shows a good level of depth in your argument.

task achievement

Your essay touches on various aspects of the topic, which is great for a comprehensive response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Children today play very violence games. This must be the reason for the increse in violence and crime in most major cities of the world.

Your opinion

In the last decade, there has been a great increase in global air travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that govements should spend money for faster public transportation , others think that there are other important priortities . Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?