Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. Discuss both sides of this argument, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #year #school #university #gain #work #travel #life #education #argument

Nowadays, more people agree that becoming acquainted with non-academic life offers advantages to those entering higher education.

Subsequently

, numerous young individuals decide to take a

gap

year

between graduation and enrolling in a university program, acquiring experience or

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

This

essay will discuss the complete agreement I have with

this

viewpoint and the benefits of taking a

year

off. There are several benefits to taking a

gap

year

. The primary reason is that it allows students to study a major they

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

while

spending time understanding themselves. A significant number of young academics– particularly in Thailand–do not have a clear idea of their future career aspirations;

consequently

, many of them opt for career paths that are deemed to have high social value: biology, engineering and medicine.

Additionally

, young individuals can benefit from real-life experiences and explore occupational fields that align with their potential career aspirations.

This

approach is advantageous as it allows them to save both time and money that might

otherwise

be wasted on a degree they do not enjoy.

On the other hand

, some people view

gap

years as having negative impacts: they are seen as disadvantages and unnecessary. In Thailand, societal expectations

suggests

Change the verb form

suggest

show examples

that taking a

year

out is not crucial to one’s success. Young students are often perceived as lacking the potential to gain acceptance into university, leading some families to feel shame in society.

Furthermore

, many families believe that taking a

gap

year

is insignificant. They may not know what their child will do during

this

time and do not expect that their child will

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

in college

afterward

Change the spelling

afterwards

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

some people disagree because they consider that it is meaningless and

adverse

Add a missing verb

has adverse

show examples

an impact on their child, I

belief

Replace the word

believe

show examples

taking a

year

out is more beneficial because they are spending

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

understanding

themselve

Correct your spelling

themselves

and trying to make the greatest decision.

Submitted by Tiger23 on Sun Sep 29 2024

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clarity

Ensure clear and precise ideas within paragraphs, avoiding ambiguity. Consider restructuring sentences to improve readability.

grammar

Avoid occasional grammatical mistakes and small inaccuracies, such as misused articles or missing articles. Example: 'spending times on understanding themselve' should be 'spending time on understanding themselves.'

content

The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear stance on the issue.

examples

Use of relevant examples adds depth and clarity to the argument, especially the mention of societal expectations in Thailand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn.

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