Some poeple think that teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, some
people
are thinking that young
age
is the delightful days of their
life
. Others believe adult
life
is more
happiness
due to
greater responsibilities. In
this
essay, we will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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both views
To begin
with,
people
are
Verb problem
apply
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really
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
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that
teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
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is
Verb problem
years are
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happiest
Correct article usage
the happiest
show examples
days of their
life
because they do not think about
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
things like roles and responsibilities in their job.
For instance
, one of my
cousin
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cousins
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he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
believes
in
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that
show examples
his
young
Correct article usage
a young
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age
, he could
active
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be active
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in sports and adventures. Nobody can impose, we can live like a free bird.
Additionally
, in
world class
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world-class
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scientists
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scientist
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Mr.
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Mr
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Richard has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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announced in a recent news article about
teenage
Correct your spelling
teenagers
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, at
Very
Add an article
a Very
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young
age
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children are very happiest in the world so
this
statement becomes more positive.
On the other hand
, some
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
believes
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believe
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that children after becoming
adults
is
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are
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the happiest in the world
due to
having great thinking
of
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apply
show examples
ideas and exploring new things.
For example
,
People
after education,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
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in their work and
getting
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get
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updated and
making
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make
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new developments in their organization
so
Correct word choice
apply
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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gives them more
delightful
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delight
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.
Furthermore
,
adults
can make the right decision
especially
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, especially
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cast
vote
Correct article usage
a vote
show examples
. Even though
,
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apply
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adults
can apply the
driving
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driver
show examples
license
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licenses
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, applying loans, and
also
a
marriage
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married
show examples
so
Correct word choice
apply
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this
age
is really good for everything and it
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
more
happiness
To conclude
, some of the
people
are believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
teenage
Correct your spelling
teenagers
show examples
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
more
happiness
others
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
adults
gives
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give
show examples
happier. In my opinion, I would recommend
people
, who
becomes
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become
show examples
adults
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the right
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
to achieve more things in their career and
life
and it gives success with
happiness
.
Submitted by saravanan.ko2011 on

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task achievement
Try to refine the introduction to clearly state both views you will discuss. This will set a clearer framework for your essay.
task achievement
Ensure all examples are relevant and effectively support your points. Try to provide specific and detailed examples as evidence.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow and structure of your essay. Ensure there are clear transitions between points to maintain coherence and smooth progression.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraphing. Each paragraph should contain one main idea, supported with relevant details and examples.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, restate the main points more clearly and ensure it effectively summarizes the arguments discussed.
task achievement
You have addressed both views in your essay, which is a good approach for this task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in organizing your thoughts.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to provide examples to support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • teenage years
  • responsibilities
  • free time
  • stress
  • social life
  • intense friendships
  • first loves
  • new adventures
  • exhilarating
  • invincibility
  • optimism
  • sense of accomplishment
  • fulfillment
  • career achievements
  • personal growth
  • financial independence
  • passions and interests
  • lasting relationships
  • parenthood
  • emotionally stable
  • maturity
  • life experience
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