Due to the increase in population in big cities, more and more people are living in small houses with very little or no outdoor space. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

#population #cities #people #houses #space

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It is widely recognised that there are more and more people choosing to live in narrow places or no outdoor space owing to the dense population, especially in metropoles.

This

phenomenon leads to certain

health

problems and affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

human well-being negatively.

However

, the

government

's actions can mitigate these problems. Living in a small house with no outdoor space in the long term could influence both mental

health

and physical

health

. Regarding mental

health

, people have a tendency to depression

due to

the shortage of natural light and fresh air.

Thus

, they tend to think in a pessimistic way,

Correct word choice

and as

show examples

a result, their productivity could fall gradually. In terms of physical

health

, since they have no outdoor space, they always lay on their beds all day

instead

of standing up and doing some exercise in order to stay healthy.

Coping

Change preposition

In coping

show examples

with

this

situation, the

government

takes the majority of responsibility.

Firstly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

economic development should be more prioritized in rural areas

where

Correct word choice

that

show examples

are sparsely populated.

Hence

, more job opportunities are created, which

attract

Correct subject-verb agreement

attracts

show examples

a lot of

labors

Replace the word

labourers

show examples

from big cities

immigrating

Change the verb form

to immigrate

show examples

to the countryside or the

suburb

Fix the agreement mistake

suburbs

show examples

. Population density in metropoles declines significantly and that contributes to the decrease of the housing cost to affordable prices.

Secondly

, the

government

should improve the quality of transportation in rural areas. Indeed, the enhanced public transport could help workers living far from the city are able to commute more easily without renting houses near the office. It is

also

important to sponsor a housing subvention, especially for the people who are in

needed

Change the form of the verb

need

show examples

, the

government

play a crucial role in

this

situation. In conclusion,

health

problems

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the main reason contributing to the huge number of residents living in unspacious houses. Fortunately, there are various effective solutions to tackle

this

issue.

Submitted by ng.hg.ly28 on Sun Sep 29 2024

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task achievement

Try to use more specific examples and statistics to support your points. This can bolster your arguments and provide stronger evidence for your claims.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences could be slightly rephrased for clarity and to avoid repetition. Consider varying your sentence structure and using a broader range of vocabulary to enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps with the overall flow and readability of the piece.

task achievement

You successfully identified the key issues related to living in small houses and suggested various plausible solutions. It's evident that you have a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Due to the increase in population in big cities, more and more people are living in small houses with very little or no outdoor space. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

As the world has become technologically advanced, computer are replacing more and more jobs that maybe lose because of computer. Discuss at least one problem that may result.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck.

plastic shopping bags contribute to the pollution of air and sea. Some people think they should be banned. Do you agree or disagree ?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think his is an appropriate use of government money?