Some people believe that teenagers should focus on all school subjects, while others think they should concentrate on the subjects they are best at or find most interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Schools are the Mecca for education and learning diverse
subjects
. Recently, it has been the topic of discussion whether concentration
on all school Replace the word
concentrating
syllabus
is a good idea or not. Fix the agreement mistake
syllabi
This
essay will discuss both notions and reveal my orientation towards this
statement.
It is universally acknowledged that various practical areas are taught in schools. Proponents believe that every subject has been included in school
curriculum to foster their different abilities and knowledge. It is undeniable that some educational Correct article usage
the school
subjects
may not be students’ favorite
ones, Change the spelling
favourite
however
, setting these lessons based on students’ wishes is not practical and efficient for their future. In addition
, it eliminates their opportunities to be multifaceted because different curriculum helps to initiate different parts of their brains. Math, for example
, is an essential subject for their future occupations even they
become an artist, they need it and Correct word choice
if they
also
it assists in being more logical.
Conversely
, opponents believe that focusing on students’ desire
Wrong verb form
desired
subject
is more useful for them. Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
Due to
the light fact that concentration is directly influenced by different study areas, learning various subjects
decreases the ability of
Change preposition
to
concentration
; Replace the word
concentrate
and
Correct word choice
apply
consequently
, the outcomes of educational
Add an article
the educational
journey
are not helpful for learners because they gradually follow a memorizing approach for Fix the agreement mistake
journeys
study
. Add an article
the study
For example
, learning cells, molecules and germs, studying
Correct word choice
and studying
in
biology, are not beneficial for students who are Change preposition
apply
enthusiasm
about literature and Replace the word
enthusiastic
also
it causes to
reduce their specific dedication time Correct pronoun usage
them to
for
studying literature.
In conclusion, schools are the only place Change preposition
to
that
minors are able to study different Correct word choice
where
subjects
to guarantee their future. I believe that learning wide
variety of Add an article
a wide
subjects
is essential for students, however
, teachers should pay attention to students’ appeal.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
You have mostly addressed both sides of the argument, but there is room for deeper analysis and more specific examples to strengthen your points further.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is coherent, there are a few places where transitions could be smoother. For instance, the link between your discussions could be clearer with the help of transitional phrases or sentences.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a balanced overview by discussing both views.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is logical, with clear paragraphs dedicated to each view and a commendable conclusion that summarizes the discussion.
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