Some people believe that teenagers should focus on all school subjects, while others think they should concentrate on the subjects they are best at or find most interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Schools are the Mecca for education and learning diverse
subjects
. Recently, it has been the topic of discussion whether
concentration
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concentrating
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on all school
syllabus
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syllabi
show examples
is a good idea or not.
This
essay will discuss both notions and reveal my orientation towards
this
statement. It is universally acknowledged that various practical areas are taught in schools. Proponents believe that every subject has been included in
school
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the school
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curriculum to foster their different abilities and knowledge. It is undeniable that some educational
subjects
may not be students’
favorite
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favourite
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ones,
however
, setting these lessons based on students’ wishes is not practical and efficient for their future.
In addition
, it eliminates their opportunities to be multifaceted because different curriculum helps to initiate different parts of their brains. Math,
for example
, is an essential subject for their future occupations even
they
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if they
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become an artist, they need it and
also
it assists in being more logical.
Conversely
, opponents believe that focusing on students’
desire
Wrong verb form
desired
show examples
subject
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subjects
show examples
is more useful for them.
Due to
the light fact that concentration is directly influenced by different study areas, learning various
subjects
decreases the ability
of
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to
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concentration
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concentrate
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;
and
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apply
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consequently
, the outcomes of
educational
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the educational
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journey
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journeys
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are not helpful for learners because they gradually follow a memorizing approach for
study
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the study
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.
For example
, learning cells, molecules and germs,
studying
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and studying
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in
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apply
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biology, are not beneficial for students who are
enthusiasm
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enthusiastic
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about literature and
also
it causes
to
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them to
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reduce their specific dedication time
for
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to
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studying literature. In conclusion, schools are the only place
that
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where
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minors are able to study different
subjects
to guarantee their future. I believe that learning
wide
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a wide
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variety of
subjects
is essential for students,
however
, teachers should pay attention to students’ appeal.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
You have mostly addressed both sides of the argument, but there is room for deeper analysis and more specific examples to strengthen your points further.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is coherent, there are a few places where transitions could be smoother. For instance, the link between your discussions could be clearer with the help of transitional phrases or sentences.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a balanced overview by discussing both views.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is logical, with clear paragraphs dedicated to each view and a commendable conclusion that summarizes the discussion.

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