There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that non-academic

school

Use synonyms

subjects

Use synonyms

like cookery and physical education should be excluded from the

school

Use synonyms

curriculum, because of the intense pressure which is about accomplish academically on teenagers and make them fully focus on

school

Use synonyms

work. It is totally

disagreed

Wrong verb form

disagree

show examples

with that opinion because pupils can release their stress owing to

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

subjects

Use synonyms

and they are necessary for

manintaining

Correct your spelling

maintaining

their daily

life

Use synonyms

. On account of gradually increasing competition and difficult

lessons

Use synonyms

school

Use synonyms

, adolescents are under much pressure in their academic

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Some recreational classes

such

Linking Words

as cookery and physical education can contribute to

mitigate

Wrong verb form

mitigating

show examples

that situation and

let

Wrong verb form

letting

show examples

off their steam.

Thus

Linking Words

, they can cope with their anxiety and become more successful

Change preposition

show examples

academic

subjects

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

Pew

Correct article usage

the Pew

show examples

research center's

Correct your spelling

Research Center's

show examples

study on

academic

Add an article

the academic

show examples

achievement level of youngsters revealed that 80% of students who attend non-academic classes are more

succesfull

Correct your spelling

successful

than others.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, non-academic classes are included in the

school

Use synonyms

syllabus because they are crucial for preparing

real

Change preposition

for real

show examples

life

Use synonyms

. Juniors should be taught how they are able to

remain

Verb problem

maintain

show examples

their daily

life

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by some

lessons

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such

Linking Words

as cookery and home economics. To illustrate that, SurveyMonkey.com conducted a survey in 2022 and highlighted that senior people use their knowledge about

life

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skills

thay

Correct your spelling

that

they learned from their

school

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subjects

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. In conclusion, non-academic

lessons

Use synonyms

ought to be in the

school

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curriculum in order to provide some leisure time

teenagers

Change preposition

for teenagers

show examples

to get away from their stress and responsibilities.

Also

Linking Words

, those

lessons

Use synonyms

are necessary to improve their

life

Use synonyms

skills.

silaaltundag5Sun Sep 29 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument before stating your position. This will help set up a balanced discussion.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to spelling and grammar errors. For instance, 'succesfull' should be 'successful' and 'manintaining' should be 'maintaining'.

task achievement

Try to include more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to show a broader range of language skills.

coherence cohesion

Improve paragraph transitions to create a smoother flow between ideas. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader.

task achievement

The essay effectively addresses the task with strong arguments supporting the importance of non-academic subjects.

task achievement

Good use of examples and data to support the main points, such as the Pew research center's study and the SurveyMonkey survey.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow the arguments presented.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Your opinion

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

Some people believe that the care of elderly people should be a priority of government spending. Others believe that government spending should focus more on young people, especially on their education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

An average British child watches television for more than 20 hours in a week and indulge in 7 hours of physical activity. What is the situation in your country and what are the causes of it? What are the solution to overcome the same?