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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the development of cutting tools in the Stone Age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the development of cutting tools in the Stone Age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The picture displays the evolution of cutting tools in the Stone Age from 1.4 million years ago to 0.8 million years ago.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the instrument has not only been sharp but
also
Linking Words
 wide and well-sized. On the one hand, it was seen that 1.4 million years ago
Tool
Use synonyms
 A had a blunt peak from the front
view
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the side
view
Use synonyms
 of
Tool
Use synonyms
 A seemed flatter than the front and back views. Meanwhile, the back
view
Use synonyms
 of the
Tool
Use synonyms
 A has a sharp edge.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Tool
Use synonyms
 B had some massive progress during the period.
Similarly
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the front
view
Use synonyms
 of
Tool
Use synonyms
 B had a sharp edge compared to
Tool
Use synonyms
 A.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the side
view
Use synonyms
 had
also
Linking Words
 become flat and thinner than that of
Tool
Use synonyms
 A.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the back
view
Use synonyms
 of
Tool
Use synonyms
 B had gained size and it was growing wider than
Tool
Use synonyms
 A.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tool, view with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Stone Age
  • tools
  • cutting
  • development
  • rudimentary
  • sophisticated
  • progression
  • unworked pebbles
  • flake tools
  • bifacial tools
  • efficiency
  • materials
  • emergence
  • characteristics
  • functionality
  • craftsmanship
  • precision
  • hunting
  • carving
  • advancements
  • significance
  • human development
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