In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?
Increasing modernization in today's world has not only positive impacts but there are many negative impacts that are affecting in different sectors where increasing in the use of whole body including their immune power as it has
drungs
by many people Correct your spelling
drugs
specially
in the sector of sports Replace the word
especially
also
can be seen.It is undeniable that,
Remove the comma
apply
Correct article usage
an increament
increament
in the consumption of Correct your spelling
increase
Add an article
the drug
drug
is one of the current issues in sports. In Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
this
essay, the issues and measures will be unveiled and the visible way will be expressed.
We live in an age where many of us are ambitious and wants
to achieve the Correct subject-verb agreement
want
desire
results instant by hook or crook. In my opinion, the use Replace the word
desired
Change preposition
of drungs
drungs
for enhancing performance in sports has main two consequences. Correct your spelling
drugs
Firstly
, players who use drugs for enhancing
their Change preposition
to enhance
game
can get different kinds of health problem
after sometimes by Fix the agreement mistake
problems
the
regular consumption as they are made up of Correct article usage
apply
chemical
. Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
Secondly
, althletes
cannot control their mind. Correct your spelling
athletes
This
is because the habit of doping slowly can effect
Correct your spelling
affect
Correct article usage
the
high
Correct article usage
a high
doze
of chemical reaction in it. Correct your spelling
dose
As a result
, athletes can have different disorder
with the consumption of drugs. Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
For example
, having
pave drugs and playing in the Add the particle
having to
game
can hamper their game
as in this
situation there is a high chance to be subconcious
or Correct your spelling
subconscious
unconcious
that athletes can lose control Correct your spelling
unconscious
on
their games.
Taking everything into consideration,there should be Change preposition
of
the
strict rules and Correct article usage
apply
regulation
not to consume Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
drug
during the games. Each player's medical Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
check up
should be done so that it will be clear whether plays are normal or not and there won't be any health Add a hyphen
check-up
issue
during the Fix the agreement mistake
issues
game
.Submitted by ali.gyawali on
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task achievement
The essay needs to address both parts of the question - the consequences and measures more clearly. Currently, there is more focus on the consequences, but the measures are not elaborated sufficiently.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to structure the essay more logically, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, consequences, measures, and conclusion. This will make your argument flow more clearly and logically.
lexical resource
Improve the variety and accuracy of your vocabulary. Some of the words are wrongly used, and improvements in vocabulary would significantly enhance clarity and impact.
grammar
Grammar needs attention - there are numerous mistakes throughout the essay. Work on subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to avoid these errors.
task achievement
The essay topic is relevant and the writer shows a clear understanding of the topic by addressing some important consequences of doping in sports.
coherence cohesion
A conclusion is present, summarizing the necessity of strict rules and regulations to combat doping in sports.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite