•Nowadays, it is getting difficult for people to enjoy their lives in cities. Why do you think this is? What can the government do to make life in cities more enjoyable?

There is no denying the fact
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
living in urban
areas
become less enjoyable
last
days.
This
essay will discuss two
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
for less pleasant from increasing population in
cities
two
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
pollution.
To begin
with, there are many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
to getting difficult for individuals to enjoy their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
in
cities
,
Firstly
, increasing people in
cities
will drive to
increasing
Add an article
the increasing
an increasing
show examples
rate of rent in
residental
Correct your spelling
residential
and business
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will reflect to increasing of other items and consumption
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
,
In other words
, will burden people by working more than one job to maintain
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
income and consuming more time to reach his
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
due to
the
traffice
Correct your spelling
traffic
problem ,
In
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
show examples
will spend less time with his family or relative that impact the social relations ,
Secondly
, growing of industrial
areas
close to
cities
will increase the
inveroment
Correct your spelling
environment
investment
pollution by
material
Add an article
the material
show examples
used by factories and smoke rising, it is
also
possible to say that
this
will decrease the green area in
cities
like parks and garden,
According to
report
realsed
Correct your spelling
released
realised
by the Pew
Recearch
Correct your spelling
Research
Center
suuport
Correct your spelling
support
supports
the view,finding that Mumbai city is the first city in the world in the air pollution . In conclusion
ther
Correct your spelling
there
are many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
make enjoy in
cities
is
difficulte
Correct your spelling
difficult
, it
also
true the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
are doing many things to find
solution
Add an article
a solution
the solution
show examples
to
this
issue from
support
Wrong verb form
supporting
show examples
rural
areas
and
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
service in those
areas
and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
infrastructure in
cities
and
add
Wrong verb form
adding
show examples
new rules to
mange
Correct your spelling
manage
show examples
extend in urban
areas
and support working online.
Submitted by rami_agha77 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structuring of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with clear transitions and connections between points.
general
Pay close attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to avoid errors. Specifically, work on subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and expand on your points to better substantiate your arguments.
task response
The essay addresses the question with relevant reasons for why city living is less enjoyable and suggests government interventions.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, giving it a complete structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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