The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 

Write at least 150 words.
The line graph illustrates the percentage of the
population
in four Asian
countries
inhabiting
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
urban areas from 1970 to 2020, with
forecast
Fix the agreement mistake
forecasts
show examples
for 2030 and 2040. The number of
Indonesian
Replace the word
Indonesians
show examples
in 1970 was around 10% and the
population
increased from nearly 10% to 20% in 2000. At
this
point in 2000 started, the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
promotion
had been a massive increase from 20% to 60% for 40 years. The
population
of Thailand was 20% in 1970, yet it was a slight increase which was approximately 30% until 2000. After 2000, the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
in Thailand boosted
frorm
Correct your spelling
from
20% to around 50%. In
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, the
population
was above 30 % and it promoted 20% until 1990.
However
, it dropped from 50 % to 40 % from 2000 to 2010. In 2010, it tended to
increasing
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
gradually from 40% to over 50%. The
population
in Malaysia was 30% in 1970 and it has increased
10
Change preposition
by 10
show examples
%
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
1 year. There was a slight decrease in 1990,
while
the time in 2000 started to boost from over 40% to over 80%. Before 2000, four southeastern
countries
seemed to
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
great increase. After 1990, 3
countries
' populations boosted rapidly. The most increasing populations of
countries
are Malaysia and Indonesia. And the stably increasing
population
is in Thailand. The country of
population
that has a tiny gap is
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
.
Submitted by lizehua041210 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, countries with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • cities
  • Asian countries
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • estimations
  • urban
  • increasing
  • steadily
  • Japan
  • China
  • rise
  • urbanization
  • South Korea
  • India
  • upward trend
  • slow pace
  • surpass
  • resided
  • projected
  • moderate increase
  • significant surge
  • exceed
What to do next:
Look at other essays: