IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

the chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar charts illustrate percentages of weekly
spent
Replace the word
spending
show examples
 on 8 aspects (
food
Use synonyms
, housing, fuel and power, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, household goods, personal goods, transport and
leisure
Use synonyms
) in households in 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, formerly, the households spent more
money
Use synonyms
 on
food
Use synonyms
 in 1968, lattery,
leisure
Use synonyms
 was the majority aspect that the families spent most of their
money
Use synonyms
 in 2018.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the least amount of
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on fuel and power
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the period given.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the most significant
disparities
Fix the agreement mistake
disparity
show examples
 in
money
Use synonyms
 distributed was on
food
Use synonyms
. In terms of
food
Use synonyms
, people spent about 35% of their funds in 1968, compared to just
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 20% in 2018.
Similarly
Linking Words
, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
, fuel and power and personal goods were spent on 5-10% in 1968,
this
Linking Words
 amount was higher than only below 5% in 2018.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 paid out on housing, transport and
leisure
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 less in 1968 than in 2018. Approximately 10% was spent
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing and
leisure
Use synonyms
 respectively in 1968, as opposed to both aspects
had
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 around 20% portion in 2018. As
regard
Fix the agreement mistake
regards
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
transport, which had 10% in 1968, it increased
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 around 15% in 2018.
On
Change preposition
Conversely
show examples
conversely
Linking Words
, the only aspect that had similar percentages of
weekly
Add an article
the weekly
show examples
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 was household golds, which accounted
around
Change preposition
for around
show examples
 8% throughout 4 decades.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, leisure, money with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
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