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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#films #five #countries #three #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart depicts the variation of
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
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 produced by five countries
throught
Correct your spelling
throughout
through
 the three-year period from 2007 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is obvious that
country
Use synonyms
 A had accumulated the largest production of films for the whole time frame.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
country
Use synonyms
 A has
demonstarted
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demonstrated
 insignificant difference in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2007 and 2008 which
ammounted
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amounted
 to almost 90.
However
Linking Words
,a year later the
flmmaking
Correct your spelling
filmmaking
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 by 10.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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movie production in
country
Use synonyms
 B is slightly lower than
Use synonyms
country
Change preposition
in country
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 A
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 25 movies in the first two
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
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.
The film
Correct article usage
Film
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 development in
country
Use synonyms
 B
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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reached
peak
Add an article
a peak
the peak
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at
Change preposition
of
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 just below 75 in 2009.
In addition
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 C has exemplified a steady
increament
Correct your spelling
increase
 in the number of filmmaking from 2007 to 2009. Other than that, the large proportion of
cinematogropy
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cinematography
 is at the
bigining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 and end of the period that accounted for
aprproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 15.
Lastly
Linking Words
,throughout the timeframe, the number of screenplays stood at the same amount which
below
Add a missing verb
was below
show examples
 25 in
country
Use synonyms
 E.
Submitted by alisyashazzy on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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