Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge & experience

People have different views about the
study
locations of
children
, some people suggest that the home is better for
children
to learn,
while
others believe that
children
should
study
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
.
Children
studying at home with families which can get more careful care.
For example
, a lot of families in China society may
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
one child, who can easily
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
much love and attention
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
their
parents
. If they feel hungry, their
parents
can
immediatly
Correct your spelling
immediately
hear that a child is crying and give
children
Correct article usage
the children
show examples
some food. It is really
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
for
children
's body development.
However
, some individuals argue that studying at
school
is crucial for
children
to learn social communication skills and make them have an outgoing personality.
Firstly
,When
children
study
at
school
, they can make many friends, which can improve their social communication skills. If they
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
at home,they can only talk
everything
Change preposition
about everything
show examples
with their
parents
.
In addition
,
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
has large spaces for
children
to exercise.They can
running
Change the verb form
run
be running
show examples
,
jumpping
Correct your spelling
jumping
,
swimming
Wrong verb form
swim
show examples
, playing
bedminton
Correct your spelling
badminton
freely, which can help them keep healthy.
Finally
, schools have professional
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
in different subjects.
Teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
Teachers
show examples
may
be give
Change the verb form
give
show examples
children
more specialized
guidence
Correct your spelling
guidance
to learn more in-depth knowledge. In my opinion, where to
study
is a personal choice and it is decided by the
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
show examples
and
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
own situation.If
children
have sufficient self-care ability, I doubly support their
study
at
school
.When I was young, I really enjoy
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
to
school
because I can play with a lot of peers.I can get much interesting knowledge in classes
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical structure of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Work on making your introduction more concise and focused. Include a brief outline of the points you will discuss in the essay.
supported main points
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
complete response
Ensure that each paragraph fully addresses the task and provides a balanced view of both home education and school education before giving your opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand on your ideas to ensure they are fully developed and easy to understand. Try to use varied sentence structures to increase readability.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples from your own knowledge and experience to back up your points. This will make your response more authentic and relatable.
task achievement
Your essay covers both points of view about home education and school education effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
You made a good effort in explaining the benefits of each method. Your ideas are relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: