Is teaching people over 65 to use computers the best way to spend government money? To what extent do you agree?

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Although

teaching computer skills to elderly residents is significant

due to

the technological revolution, I strongly disagree that it is the best use of government funds. More urgent needs,

such

as healthcare and social services, require immediate attention. There are several reasons why government funds should prioritize individuals over 65.

First,

this

age group faces numerous healthcare challenges. Many elderly individuals suffer from serious illnesses like heart disease and high blood pressure, which often result in expensive medications.

Additionally

, social services are crucial for lower-income seniors, who struggle to meet basic needs,

such

as school supplies for their children or mobility aids.

On the other hand

, investing in computer skills can positively impact older adults by helping them stay updated with technological advancements and improving their awareness of the world. In conclusion, I believe the government should focus its spending on enhancing social services and promoting healthcare, which are more pressing concerns for the elderly population.

Submitted by sheikha1996mohammed on Mon Sep 30 2024

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task response

You have provided a relevant and complete response to the task prompt. However, you could further strengthen your argument by including more detailed examples and elaboration on key points. For instance, specific examples of healthcare programs or social services that could benefit from government funding would enhance your argument.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, maintain a logical flow by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, consider merging sentences to create more seamless connections between ideas. For example: "On the other hand, while investing in computer skills can positively impact older adults, aiding them in keeping up with technological advancements and improving their awareness of the world, more urgent issues such as healthcare and social services require immediate attention."

introduction and conclusion

Clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.

logical structure

Logical and orderly progression of ideas supporting your argument.

clear and comprehensive ideas

You provided comprehensive ideas and addressed the prompt effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

156 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cognitive function
Digital divide
Lifelong learning
Cognitive decline
Digital inclusion
Autonomy
Reliance
Healthcare allocation
Elderly empowerment
Budget constraints
Intergenerational connections
Social connectivity
Online services
Technological literacy
Cost-effectiveness

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Is teaching people over 65 to use computers the best way to spend government money? To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

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Some people think that media have the right to publish details of people's private lives, while others think it should be controlled. Discuss both views.

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Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to takle the issue?