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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. n

The two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. n
#two #maps #show #road #access #city #summarise #information #features #comparisons #n
The two maps
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 information about differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
 access in 2007 and in 2010
It is clear that
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park
 and bus stop have differences from that year.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the
road
 access to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 hospital changed. After
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 hospital,
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
road
 and
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 hospital
road
unchanged
Add a missing verb
were unchanged
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 ring
road
 similar us
befores
Correct your spelling
the
city
 hospital.
Then
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
car
park
 and bus stop have
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 difference from 2007 . The
car
park
 in 2007 was
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 small but in 2010
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park
Add a missing verb
was separate
show examples
separate
Replace the word
separated
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 two sections. They are
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
car
park
 and
staff
Correct article usage
a staff
show examples
car
park
 . Like that bus station has increased compared to 2007. In 2010, built
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 thing for
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 hospital. It was roundabout. By
this
 construction, getting in and out of the hospital became easier. And thanks to
this
 there were not many traffic jams in front of the hospital.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words road, car, park, city with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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