IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story books are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities.To what extent do you agree or disagree?’

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Some people believe that it is a waste of
time
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 for
children
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 to spend a lot of
time
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on
Change preposition
apply
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reading
story
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books
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, and it is more deserving for
children
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 to spend
time
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 doing other more meaningful
activities
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. I fully agree with
this
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 statement.
Although
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 reading
story
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books
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spend
Verb problem
takes
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 a lot of
time
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,
children
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 could develop curiosity for knowledge,
and
Correct word choice
which
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influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
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 their academic success. 63
Children
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 could have a better performance
on
Change preposition
in
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academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
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 with
strong
Add an article
a strong
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 curiosity for knowledge.
Children
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 could be encouraged to think critically and develop
problem sloving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
 skills by reading
story
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books
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.
Also
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, the characters in the
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story
Correct your spelling
storybooks
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books
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 could inspire
children
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 to learn more about the world around them.
Besides
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,
story
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books
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included
Wrong verb form
include
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 new
vocabularies
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vocabulary
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 and phrases and
this
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encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
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children
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 to learn the meaning, which could boost their
eager
Replace the word
eagerness
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 for knowledge.
Furthermore
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,
children
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 are
leading
Wrong verb form
led
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 to seek the answers they are curious about the stories or the characters, which could
also
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 lead them to ask questions and seek the answers in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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academic studies.166
Although
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 doing other
activities
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 could
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for
children
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, reading
story
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books
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 offers more advantages for
children
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.
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While many
Correct word choice
Many
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 other
activities
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such
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 as sports
activities
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 might not engage the mind as deeply as reading
story
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books
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.
Children
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’s
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
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 could be more active through reading.
Besides
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,
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story
Correct your spelling
storybooks
show examples
books
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 introduce
children
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 to grammatical rules, which could help
children
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 to build strong communication skills. Other
activities
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 may not offer language learning.
Moreover
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,
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story
Correct your spelling
storybooks
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books
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 contain challenges and dilemmas, which could help
children
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 to develop emotional intelligence. The other
activities
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such
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 as video games and sports could not develop
children
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’s emotional intelligence.264 In conclusion, reading
story
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books
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 is not a waste of
time
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.
To
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the contrary, it allows
children
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 to develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individual learning
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
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,
strengthen
Correct word choice
and strengthen
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 language skills, which are crucial for
children
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’s growth.296

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grammar
There are issues with sentence structure and grammar that occasionally obscure meaning. Work on improving your grammar and varied sentence structures to enhance clarity.
task response
Introduce more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This would make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to guide the reader through the argument.
task achievement
Most ideas in the essay are clear and comprehensive, contributing to a complete response to the question.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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