Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story books are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities.To what extent do you agree or disagree?’

Some people believe that it is a waste of
time
for
children
to spend a lot of
time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading
story
books
, and it is more deserving for
children
to spend
time
doing other more meaningful
activities
. I fully agree with
this
statement.
Although
reading
story
books
spend
Verb problem
takes
show examples
a lot of
time
,
children
could develop curiosity for knowledge,
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
their academic success. 63
Children
could have a better performance
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
with
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
curiosity for knowledge.
Children
could be encouraged to think critically and develop
problem sloving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
skills by reading
story
books
.
Also
, the characters in the
story
Correct your spelling
storybooks
show examples
books
could inspire
children
to learn more about the world around them.
Besides
,
story
books
included
Wrong verb form
include
show examples
new
vocabularies
Fix the agreement mistake
vocabulary
show examples
and phrases and
this
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
children
to learn the meaning, which could boost their
eager
Replace the word
eagerness
show examples
for knowledge.
Furthermore
,
children
are
leading
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
to seek the answers they are curious about the stories or the characters, which could
also
lead them to ask questions and seek the answers in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic studies.166
Although
doing other
activities
could
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for
children
, reading
story
books
offers more advantages for
children
.
While many
Correct word choice
Many
show examples
other
activities
such
as sports
activities
might not engage the mind as deeply as reading
story
books
.
Children
’s
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
could be more active through reading.
Besides
,
story
Correct your spelling
storybooks
show examples
books
introduce
children
to grammatical rules, which could help
children
to build strong communication skills. Other
activities
may not offer language learning.
Moreover
,
story
Correct your spelling
storybooks
show examples
books
contain challenges and dilemmas, which could help
children
to develop emotional intelligence. The other
activities
such
as video games and sports could not develop
children
’s emotional intelligence.264 In conclusion, reading
story
books
is not a waste of
time
.
To
Change preposition
On
show examples
the contrary, it allows
children
to develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individual learning
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
,
strengthen
Correct word choice
and strengthen
show examples
language skills, which are crucial for
children
’s growth.296
Submitted by janejaspar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
There are issues with sentence structure and grammar that occasionally obscure meaning. Work on improving your grammar and varied sentence structures to enhance clarity.
task response
Introduce more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This would make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to guide the reader through the argument.
task achievement
Most ideas in the essay are clear and comprehensive, contributing to a complete response to the question.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: