Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that pupils are more reliable in many ways to pay school
fees
for higher
education
although
, some people
belives
Verb problem
believe
show examples
that only students are
responsibe
Correct your spelling
responsible
for their own
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
system
while
obtaining
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
curriculum.
This
is
debatable
Add an article
a debatable
the debatable
show examples
trend, that whether
society
should
contirbute
Correct your spelling
continue
for maintaining
Change preposition
to maintain
show examples
contries
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
balance or adults should pay their
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fees
in terms of
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
education
. I formally agree with the notion that choices of studies and payment structure can be dependable for sectors who are receiving
education
and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
shall elaborate it with examples in
further
paragraphs. In
this
fast-paced
society
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people are adopting
education
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
for
high paid
Correct your spelling
high-paying
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and better living prosperity.
However
, it is still deniable for
society
Add an article
a society
the society
show examples
that to increase
nations
Replace the word
national
show examples
literacy level mass
contributon
Correct your spelling
contribution
contributions
from people can not be justifiable for everybody as some might not receive
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
.There are various
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
for adopting individual
responsibities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
for schooling. First and foremost, some universities are tremendously charging prodigious funds
according to
competency
Add an article
the competency
show examples
of courses which may not be affordable for others where
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
individuals
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
different opinions for their way of
education
.
For instance
, particular Medical subjects like
doctorate
Fix the agreement mistake
doctorates
show examples
are highly expensive in manner of to complete degrees and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
more seats and
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
to compensate
other
Change preposition
for other
show examples
requirements.
Secondly
, for
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
income sector even
edcuation
Correct your spelling
education
is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
option to achieve for them contributing
schooling
Change preposition
to schooling
show examples
for others
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
significantly unjustice for them.
Therefore
, government
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
should indulge with incentives or schemes for
competative
Correct your spelling
competitive
students rather than charging those funds from taxes because not everybody can afford
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
when
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
not free.
On the other hand
,
internatinal adoptation
Correct your spelling
international adoption
for
aquiring
Correct your spelling
acquiring
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
scholing
Correct your spelling
schooling
can be more beneficial.
However
, to
considering
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
charges of
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fees
it is highly imperative for
society
to input for changes or convincing ways to central authority so there should be equal
balanace
Correct your spelling
balance
for
eductation
Correct your spelling
education
to poor and rich compartments.
Furthermore
, paying private
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fees
should be
inviduals
Replace the word
the individual's
show examples
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
education
ministry can promote
governemnt
Correct your spelling
government
schemes for those who are seeking classes in terms of affordability.
Moreover
, Another cumulative approach should be for distributing benefits for medical health, food and consumption and
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
other advantageous ways.
To conclude
, I highly agree that there should be
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsible
for particular
eductaion
Correct your spelling
education
neverthless,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should focus on
equallity
Correct your spelling
equality
for everybody
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
promoting free
education
untill
Correct your spelling
until
tertiary
Correct article usage
the tertiary
show examples
level.
Thus
,
society
should
contibute
Correct your spelling
contribute
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
overall
health and food
accesses
Fix the agreement mistake
access
show examples
as it is
required
Correct article usage
a required
show examples
nessecity
Correct your spelling
necessity
for living.
Submitted by priyankagondaliya007 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay structure could be more organized. Ensure that you present your points in a clearer, more logical manner to improve the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage but could be refined to be more concise. Ensure your thesis statement is clearly defined. For example, you can state directly whether you agree or disagree.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences for each paragraph. This will guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure that all paragraphs are well-developed with clear supporting points and examples. Some paragraphs contain ideas that are not thoroughly explored.
task achievement
Work on improving your grammar and sentence structure to enhance clarity and readability. There are several grammatical errors that affect comprehension and the professional tone.
task achievement
You have shown the ability to generate ideas and have included several points supporting your argument. This demonstrates a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
You have provided some relevant examples, which help to support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your viewpoint well and provides a clear final opinion on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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