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Band 5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.

#people #risks #lives
Some people suppose that taking risks is crucial
of
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to
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 our professional and personal development. I completely agree with the viewpoint that jeopardizing has more positive aspects than negative ones. On the one hand, taking risks requires metric consideration
as well as
 estimation and a minor fault could result in devastating outcomes in
life
. Individuals are making some choices
in
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apply
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throughout their lives which contain various risky decisions.
For instance
,
while
 applying for the job they are facing some challenges, and the newly applied job can be a toxic place or can go to bankruptcy because of not managing properly. In
this
 case, individuals can lose their standard of living and may encounter financial problems.
On the other hand
, taking
initiatives
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initiative
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 in professional
life
 can bring about new opportunities for a
risk taker
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risk-taker
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 and can widen his horizons. The new job placement,
for example
, means new successful people and new outlook and it can promote the
life
 of the person from the perspective of salary and position. Professionals, who do not take risks prefer
stable
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a stable
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 and monotonous
lifestyle
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lifestyles
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, which will not provide any interesting
endeavor
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endeavour
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, and decrease the
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
 balance as well. At the same time, it can predominantly affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity and adversely impact the outcome.
However
,
risk takers
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risk-takers
show examples
 will continue to enjoy the privileges offered by new opportunities and stay ahead of the game. All in all, risk and responsibility are crucial parts of
life
 and create new chances in front of an individual accompanied by experienced calculations.
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task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help to clearly illustrate your points and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that the progression of ideas flows smoothly. Consider using more transition words and phrases to create clear links between your ideas.
language use
Work on grammar and vocabulary to express ideas more clearly and accurately. Try to avoid minor inaccuracies for a more polished response.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which addresses the topic effectively.
task achievement
The arguments presented are relevant to the topic and show a good understanding of the issues involved in taking risks.
task achievement
The essay attempts to cover both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view while clearly supporting one perspective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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