In todays world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development

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this

Linking Words

present time,

people

Use synonyms

spend a lot of money on the way they appear. Some of them pay to look younger and others pay to look thinner and muscular. It is agreed

this

Linking Words

has a negative

develpment

Correct your spelling

development

for

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

body.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay, will discuss why some individuals have been doing

operations

Use synonyms

that will harm their

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

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in the future.

Firstly

Linking Words

, with current

advancement

Fix the agreement mistake

advancements

show examples

in almost every aspect, especially in medicine and education,

people

Use synonyms

are choosing the easy path to

looks

Wrong verb form

look

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their youth. Which is consent to have

operations

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

parts of their body

such

Linking Words

face

Correct article usage

the face

show examples

and belly. One of the

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

behind

this

Linking Words

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

confidince

Correct your spelling

confidence

. Another reason why

people

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

they are lazy to go to the gym and eat healthy food.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some teenagers have

done

Verb problem

made

show examples

some

change

Fix the agreement mistake

changes

show examples

in the way they look because they want to resemble their celebrity.

Therefore

Linking Words

instead

Linking Words

of spending money

traying

Correct your spelling

trying

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to appear young, they should do some

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

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daily and

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

a good lifestyle.

Secondly

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

looking younger and healthier by

operations

Use synonyms

can make the person gain trust and

and

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

temprorly

Correct your spelling

temporarily

temporally

encouragment

Correct your spelling

encouragement

, it will affect them with time

dut

Correct your spelling

due

show examples

to poor results of

this

Linking Words

part of medicine.

Studys

Correct your spelling

Studies

have shown that esthetic

operations

Use synonyms

like injection filler and silicon to the lips and cheeks will decline the sense of feeling in these areas.

As a result

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

tend to avoid it these days.

To sum up

Linking Words

, the disadvantages of

people

Use synonyms

spending a lot of money

Change preposition

show examples

products and

operations

Use synonyms

to look younger

outwight

Correct your spelling

outwit

outright

outweigh

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

advantages.

This

Linking Words

trend will not stop in the future but the community

hope

Correct subject-verb agreement

hopes

show examples

technology will solve some of its issues.

361109698Mon Sep 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on grammatical accuracy to avoid common mistakes such as subject-verb agreement and word choice.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your points.

task achievement

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enrich your essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt adequately and presents a clear standpoint.

coherence cohesion

Ideas are logically organized into paragraphs and flow reasonably well.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Youthful appearance
Societal norms
Media influence
Self-esteem
Confidence
Professional competition
Health and wellness
Cosmetic enhancements
Medical technology
Anti-aging products
Invest in appearance
Beauty standards

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In todays world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development

Your opinion

In a number of countries, some people think its is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Social media enable people to keep in touch with each other and learn about the news. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people seek a lot of advice from family and friends when choosing their career. Others feel it is better to choose a career more independently. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Directors and managers of organization are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?