In todays world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development
In
this
present time, people
spend a lot of money on the way they appear. Some of them pay to look younger and others pay to look thinner and muscular. It is agreed this
has a negative develpment
for Correct your spelling
development
human
body. Add an article
the human
In
Change preposition
This
this
essay, will discuss why some individuals have been doing operations
that will harm their body
in the future.
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
Firstly
, with current advancement
in almost every aspect, especially in medicine and education, Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
people
are choosing the easy path to looks
like Wrong verb form
look
at
their youth. Which is consent to have Change preposition
in
operations
in
parts of their body Change preposition
on
such
as face
and belly. One of the Correct article usage
the face
reason
behind Change to a plural noun
reasons
this
is lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
confidince
. Another reason why Correct your spelling
confidence
people
do this
because
they are lazy to go to the gym and eat healthy food. Add a missing verb
is because
Moreover
, some teenagers have done
some Verb problem
made
change
in the way they look because they want to resemble their celebrity. Fix the agreement mistake
changes
Therefore
, instead
of spending money traying
to appear young, they should do some Correct your spelling
trying
exercises
daily and Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
having
a good lifestyle.
Wrong verb form
have
Secondly
, although
looking younger and healthier by operations
can make the person gain trust and and
Remove the redundancy
apply
temprorly
Correct your spelling
temporarily
temporally
encouragment
, it will affect them with time Correct your spelling
encouragement
dut
to poor results of Correct your spelling
due
this
part of medicine. Studys
have shown that esthetic Correct your spelling
Studies
operations
like injection filler and silicon to the lips and cheeks will decline the sense of feeling in these areas. As a result
, people
tend to avoid it these days.
To sum up
, the disadvantages of people
spending a lot of money in
products and Change preposition
on
operations
to look younger outwight
Correct your spelling
outwit
outright
outweigh
it's
advantages. Replace the word
its
This
trend will not stop in the future but the community hope
technology will solve some of its issues.Correct subject-verb agreement
hopes
Submitted by 361109698 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy to avoid common mistakes such as subject-verb agreement and word choice.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your points.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enrich your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt adequately and presents a clear standpoint.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are logically organized into paragraphs and flow reasonably well.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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