IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The given below pie chart shows the cultural and leisure Activities amongst boys’ and girls’. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.write at least 150 words.

The given below pie chart shows the cultural and leisure Activities amongst boys’ and girls’. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.write at least 150 words.
#leisure #activities #boys’ #girls’ #summarise #information #features
The pie charts provide information about the traditional and free time between two different sex boys and girls.
Overall
, the pie
chars
Correct your spelling
charts
show examples
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrate
show examples
 many habits which do it between boys and girls if they have free time which a significant
commne
Correct your spelling
comment
commune
 is
boy's
Change noun form
boys'
show examples
 culture
played
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
computers
Fix the agreement mistake
computer
show examples
 games
likewise
 reading is the lowest activity in the pie chart.
To begin
 with boy's cultural and leisure activities it
observed
Add a missing verb
was observed
show examples
 that listening to music
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
the same
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in both segments
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 10%
while
 the big differences between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 slid was reading
while
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 was 2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in boy's cultural
in contrast
 it accounted for
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 20 per cent in girls cultural . On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand
Add a comma
,
show examples
the highest number of women's cultural activities and leisure was dancing
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
made
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
27%. The second highest proportion was reading.
in
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 the lowest point was
listing
Verb problem
listening
show examples
 to music .
Submitted by sialamer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: