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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it look in today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparision where relevant.

#plans #show #harbour #summarise #information #features #comparision
The presented two plans illustrate the view of Porth
harbour
Capitalize word
Harbour
show examples
 in 2000 and its appearance today. At first glance, it is revealed more than five changes in the present which include the new building’s developments. The dock area has been enhanced by the current map and it has been spread through the top of the map.
Moreover
, the fishing boat area and marina yachts have been shifted
each
Change preposition
to each
show examples
 other. An additional washroom has been constructed in between the carparks. New cafés and shops are built near the lifeboat. There was a castle where located at the bottom of the
harbour
 in 2000 and it has been developed as a hotel today with its own beach
also
.
In addition
, it can be identified particular areas that still remain as previously. The public beach which was located on the top of the
harbour
 is crucial. In fact,
that is
 the only public beach where citizens are able to be used. Even though, the parking spaces still remain, the entrance of one car park has been changed where there is removal from the main road.
Finally
, it can be mentioned that Porth
harbour
Capitalize word
Harbour
show examples
 has been re-constructed
while
 enhancing the accommodation facilities for individuals.
Submitted by dilkiapsara on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, group related changes together more effectively. For instance, discuss all building developments in one paragraph and changes in recreational areas in another. This helps in maintaining a clearer flow of information.
coherence cohesion
Try to write a more defined introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. Your introduction should introduce the two time points and the nature of changes, while the conclusion should summarize the overall transformation.
task achievement
To improve clarity and idea presentation, avoid repetitively mentioning the year when it is clear from context. This will help make your writing more concise.
task achievement
The essay covers all significant changes between the two time points, providing a complete response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The information is generally organized in a logical manner, making it relatively easy to follow.
task achievement
You have provided relevant details about specific changes, such as the addition of washrooms and cafes, which enrich the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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