It is importatnt for people to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages?
Change is constant
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
life
, but some people are very recultant
to the changes. It is debated by some individuals that Correct your spelling
resistant
masses
should not fear accepting the challenges in their private and work Correct article usage
the masses
like
. Correct your spelling
life
According to
me
there are more positive points of the Add a comma
me,
above discussed
scenario than its drawbacks some Add a hyphen
above-discussed
which
are written below.
On the one side, Change preposition
of which
firstly
accepting a change which is uncomfortable can help one grow in the
Correct article usage
apply
life
. Despite working hard throughout the
Correct article usage
apply
life
some individuals keep on working same
position because they do not step out of their comfort zone. Change the article
the same
For example
, the owner of the Burger Factory was once a
employee of the fast food shop, but later in Change the article
an
life
when he wanted to do his own buissness
, he took Correct your spelling
business
loan
from Add an article
a loan
bank
and left his previous job which was Add an article
the bank
a bank
assuiring
him Correct your spelling
assuring
finnicial
stability. After working hard for 5 years he was able to run his restaurant successfully and opened several franchies of his restaurant. Needless to say, one Correct your spelling
financial
neef
to step out of their comfort zone to grow in Correct your spelling
needs
life
.
Secondly
, if a
individual is always Change the article
an
dependant
on their Replace the word
dependent
parents
or guardians for the
Correct article usage
apply
finnicial
stability or care taken by the Correct your spelling
financial
parents
, then
person
would not be able to survive in the world without Add an article
the person
a person
support
of someone. It is Add an article
the support
deterimental
for a Correct your spelling
detrimental
person
to be on his own and able to manage worldly affairs on their own without taking help from anyone. Hence
, Add an article
a person
the person
person
should leave the facilities given to them by their Fix the agreement mistake
people
parents
to be a
Change the article
an
independant
and responsible citizen.
On the other side, Correct your spelling
independent
sometime
accepting the challenge can jeopardize the career or the private Replace the word
sometimes
life
of the person
, as sometimes things can flashback and Correct article usage
the consquences
consquences
of giving up a job and leaving the safe Correct your spelling
consequences
heaven
created by Correct your spelling
haven
parents
can create finnacial
problems and Correct your spelling
financial
Correct article usage
a lost
lost
of sense of security. Replace the word
loss
Therefore
, some masses can ruining
their Change the verb form
ruin
be ruining
life
by choosing a path going on
Change preposition
in
opposite
direction of their Add an article
the opposite
life
.
Considering all the points above, taking risk
is important, as it Fix the agreement mistake
risks
give
Change the verb form
gives
a
opportunity Change the article
an
to
individual to grow in their Change preposition
for
life
and become independent. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
sometime
living stability can put a Replace the word
sometimes
person
in worse
scenario if things do not go as planned.Correct article usage
a worse
Submitted by simrantiwana1086 on
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grammatical range accuracy
Improve grammatical accuracy. Focus on fixing spelling errors, and pay attention to subject-verb agreement, plurals, and article usage.
lexical resource
Enhance lexical resource by incorporating a wider range of vocabulary. Try to use more precise and varied words.
coherence cohesion
Make paragraph transitions smoother. Link sentences and ideas in a way that the flow is easier to follow for the reader.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents a balanced discussion with both advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.
coherence cohesion
Presence of an introduction and conclusion. The essay is structured well in this regard and helps in presenting a complete response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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