IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #people #care #think #service #government
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It is widely acknowledged that
people
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 have to pay for their medical care in many countries, some argue that it supposes to be a free-of-charge
service
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 provided by the
government
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 for the sake of their citizen's
health
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. The reason why I agree with the latter statement as it can reduce financial burden
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 for
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
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group
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groups
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 will be discussed
further
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 in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, it seems sensible for some to believe that medical care
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service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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 should be free for their citizen's life.
This
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 is
possibly
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possible
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 because the
more
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apply
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healthier their
people
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 are, the better fewer
expense
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expenses
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 it is for the
government
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 to allocate
for
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apply
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. Non-communicable diseases
such
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 as diabetes and hypertension,
for instance
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, are the most worrying
health
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 conditions that
costs
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cost
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 large
sum
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sums
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 for both the patients and
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 to
paid
Change the form of the verb
pay
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 for medical treatments
expecially
Correct your spelling
especially
 drugs and other
intervention
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interventions
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 like monitoring sugar
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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. From my point of view, I could not agree more with the free medical
service
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 scheme seeing that
this
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 can benefit
people
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 tremendously, in terms of equity.
Health
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 services should not be a
privilage
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privilege
 for those who are prosperous. In
this
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 sense, the
government
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 should step in and remove
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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bounderies
Correct your spelling
boundaries
 between the two groups as both groups of populations drive the nation in some ways. Take Universal
Health
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 Coverage in Thailand,
for example
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; though it is partially free of charge services provided by the
government
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, a study shows that it has been helping
thai
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Thai
show examples
 citizens to access
this
Linking Words
service
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 more than in the past. In summary, one's
health
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 conditions should not considered as
personal
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a personal
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 but rather
national
Correct article usage
a national
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 problem that the authorities need to take
this
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 into
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
account, I am of the opinion that free
of charge
Add a hyphen
of-charge
show examples
 healthcare
service
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 from the
government
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 not only
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
improves the quality of life of their
people
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 but
also
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 vanishes
this
Linking Words
health
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's
privilage
Correct your spelling
privilege
 from the society.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Grammar
Improve sentence structure and grammar. For example, instead of 'In this sense, the government should step in and remove this bounderies between the two groups as both groups of populations drive the nation in some ways,' consider 'In this sense, the government should step in and remove the boundaries between the two groups, as citizens from both groups contribute to the nation.'
Examples
Expand on examples and ensure they are more closely related to the argument. For instance, explain how the Universal Health Coverage in Thailand specifically leads to improved access and outcomes.
Position
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and conclusion. For example, 'I agree that medical care should be free, as this would significantly reduce the financial burden on low-income groups and ensure equity in healthcare access.'
Content
The essay effectively discusses both perspectives on the issue of free medical care.
Examples
Good use of examples, such as the Universal Health Coverage in Thailand, helps to support the argument.
Structure
Clear overall structure with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
What to do next:
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