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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table illustrates the number of people in their age groups in New Zealand between 2011 and 2012.

The table illustrates the number of people in their age groups in New Zealand between 2011 and 2012.
#people #age #groups #zealand
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The provided table illustrates the distribution of
population
Add an article
the population
a population
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 of New Zealand by five categories based on
age
Use synonyms
 intervals from 2011 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can
bee
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
 seen that the number of children and young adults showed a diminishing trend,
whereas
Linking Words
 the data for other
age
Use synonyms
 groups rose.
Additionally
Linking Words
, despite the downward tendency, young adults outnumbered others. Regarding all ages, there was a slight increment
by
Change preposition
of
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 0.6%, the population
climb
Wrong verb form
climbed
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 from 4,381,269 to 4,410,284.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, individuals
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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aged 40-64, went up by 0.6 and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1,339,898 in 2012. Turning to
65
Correct article usage
the 65
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age
Use synonyms
 group,
although
Linking Words
 they were responsible for the minor of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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, the figures grew modestly by 4.0%. For
under
Correct pronoun usage
those under
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 15, there was a downward trend, the number of children fell from 898,160 to 896,364.
Likewisely
Correct your spelling
Likewise
, the number of people who belong to
15
Correct article usage
the 15
show examples
-39
age
Use synonyms
 interval, declined by 0.2%,
however
Linking Words
, In spite of the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they had the highest representation among all
age
Use synonyms
 groups.
Submitted by silaaltundag5 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
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