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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006.

The table below shows the number of temporary migrant worker in four countries in 2003 and 2006 and the number of these workers per 1,000 people in these countries in 2006.
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The Table illustrates the amount of temporary migrant
workers
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 in four
counties
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countries
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, Australia, New
Zealand
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,
United
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the United
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Kingdom
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 and the United
States
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 in the years 2003 and 2006. It
also
Linking Words
 provides
date
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data
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 on the
number
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 of these
workers
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 per thousand people, in each country in 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an increase in the
number
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 of temporary
workers
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 in all four countries. The United
Kingdom
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 experienced the largest increase,
while
Linking Words
 New
Zealand
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 had the largest
overall
Linking Words
number
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. The United
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states
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States
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 had the highest
number
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 of temporary migrants in both years, but its growth rate was lower compared to other countries. In detail, the United
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states
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States
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 had 577,000 temporary migrant
workers
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 in 2003, increasing to 678,000 in 2006.. Meanwhile, the United
Kingdom
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 saw a substantial increase from 137,000 to 266,00. Australia
also
Linking Words
 showed
a
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apply
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significant growth, from 152,000 to 219,000 during the same period. New
Zealand
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 had the lowest figures, with a low of 65,000 and its highest being 87,000. When considering the
number
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 of migrant
workers
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 per a thousand people in 2006, New
Zealand
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 had the highest ratio at 21.1, followed by Australia at 10.7. The United
Kingdom
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 and the United
States
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 had relatively low ratios, at 4.4 and 2.3 respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, overall".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, zealand, kingdom, states, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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