Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life

It is debated

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

whether we should include competition at

work

, at school and even in daily life or

in contrast

, we have to try to do more cooperation with others rather than fighting against them.

These both

Correct determiner usage

Both

show examples

viewoints

Correct your spelling

viewpoints

carry advantages, and in my

opinions

Fix the agreement mistake

opinion

show examples

, a fraction of both should be presented in our lives to help us moderate our social lifestyles. Competition can be a motivation for many

people

to try harder at

work

, at school or in every

acpect

Correct your spelling

aspect

of their lives. In that case, they may display their best performance, pushing the boundaries of what they are capable of.

However

, we have to keep the environment healthy in all kinds of matches, as

toxic

Correct article usage

a toxic

show examples

atmosphere affect our mental well-being.

For example

, some

people

become so

obssessed

Correct your spelling

obsessed

with winning during unhealthy competitions that all they think about is how to defeat their opponent. They may

also

forget how to enjoy their moments. In some cases, It can

also

lead to

dangeous

Correct your spelling

dangerous

thoughts and eventually, actions.

On the other hand

cooporation

Correct your spelling

cooperation

is a valuable skill everyone should learn. It has numerous benefits.

Firstly

, knowing how to

cooporate

Correct your spelling

cooperate

corporate

can develop

teamwork

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

as well as

compromision

Correct your spelling

compromise

Teamwork

is an essential skill for being successful at

work

or academic performance. Sometimes we have to

work

as a team

for achieving

Change preposition

to achieve

show examples

truimph

Correct your spelling

triumph

in different parts of our lives.

For example

people

need

teamwork

and

compromision

Correct your spelling

compromise

skills when being in a team at

work

or school, in a relationship and even living with a roommate.

Cooporating

Correct your spelling

Cooperating

also

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

us with a sense of empathy, helping us understand

people

's emotions.

Thus

, it can

also

help to create a healthy environment for

compiting

Correct your spelling

competing

computing

because it already made us more patient and

understandable

Replace the word

understanding

show examples

of others' feelings. In conclusion, the combination of competition and

cooporation

Correct your spelling

cooperation

is an

unseparatable

Correct your spelling

inseparable

part of everyone's life

whi

Correct your spelling

who

wants to have a

balance

Replace the word

balanced

show examples

social life, providing them with

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

motivation for hard

work

, better performance,

boost

Wrong verb form

boosting

show examples

teamwork

and

compromision

Correct your spelling

compromising

compromisation

skills and helping to avoid toxic atmospheres

while

compiting

Correct your spelling

competing

computing

Submitted by ava.saljoughi on Tue Oct 01 2024

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task achievement

You have provided a good discussion of both views, but your argument can be strengthened by adding more specific examples to support your points about competition and cooperation. This will enhance the clarity and relevance of your ideas.

task achievement

Ensure consistent and accurate use of vocabulary and spelling throughout your essay. Some words were misspelled, such as 'cooporation,' which distracts from your overall argument. Correct spellings to 'cooperation,' 'compromising,' 'triumph,' etc.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is generally well-structured, make sure to keep each paragraph focused on a single main idea. Some paragraphs present multiple ideas which can slightly disrupt the flow.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents a balanced view, setting up the discussion effectively.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion wraps up the essay well with a strong opinion and summary of the main points discussed.

task achievement

You effectively addressed both sides of the argument, making a thorough response to the task.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

336 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that people should be given the right to use fresh water as they like. Others believe governments should strictly control the use of fresh water. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many employers offer their employees gyms, sports club. Others believe that it is unnecessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that there should be a fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others feel that the circumstances of an offence should be taken into account when deciding on a punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have dissapeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this solution?

Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.