Some people think computer and internet are important in childrens study. But others think students can learn more effectively in school and with teachers
Critics consider that modern technologies are vital
kids
Change preposition
to kids
of
nowadays. They argue that Change preposition
apply
passive
nature of Correct article usage
the passive
internet
using
leads to Wrong verb form
use
be
distracted and Wrong verb form
being
reduced
interest Wrong verb form
reduces
for
researching. Change preposition
in
For instance
, they believe that if children use internet
during Add an article
the internet
study
, they can be easily interrupted by Add an article
the study
another social networks
. Replace the adjective
another social network
other social networks
Consequently
, individuals became more passive their
Change preposition
in their
study
rather than active students. Therefore
, they believe that gadgets does
not help Change the verb form
do
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
study
.
On the contrary
, most people think that students can learn more effectively with teachers
not
with gadgets. Add the comma(s)
, not
This
days Correct determiner usage
These
teachers
becoming more qualified and improve
their knowledge . If pupils have an issue with their Wrong verb form
improving
study
, they can ask questions that they interested
in and tutors can assist them with their knowledge. As Add a missing verb
are interested
the
result pupils Correct article usage
a
are
can be informed by Unnecessary verb
apply
teachers
. Thus
, I believe that studying with teachers
can be more effective rather than Add an article
the internet
internet
.
Capitalize word
Internet
While
some argue that using internet
for the Add an article
the internet
study
is productive due to
its all information, others believe that teachers
can be more effective and educational. Personally
I side with the latter view. When students have Add a comma
Personally,
a questions
about their subject they can come and require Correct the article-noun agreement
questions
a question
as well as
tutors all the time ready to answer this requirements
with honor.Change the determiner
this requirement
these requirements
Submitted by omondavlat91 on
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structure
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be more clearly defined. The essay jumps into the topic without a proper introduction, which can confuse readers.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and that the argument flows logically from one paragraph to the next. This will improve the coherence of your essay.
evidence
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention particular ways in which teachers help students understand complex subjects better than online resources.
language use
Enhance your vocabulary to better articulate your arguments. For instance, replace words like "gadgets" with more appropriate terms like "technological tools" or "digital resources."
structure
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
clarity
You express a clear preference for one side of the argument, making your position evident.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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