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Band 5

It is better for the students to live away from the home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #home #university #studies #parents
An argument is made that
students
 should be living away from home whilst their university
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
,
while
 others believe that they should remain at their parent's house. I firmly agree that they should step out and live away from their
parents
. The forthcoming paragraphs will state my ideas and justify my view.
To begin
 with, one of the main advantages of pupils living away from their
parents
 is they tend to become more mature and are able to think for themselves. They develop skills
such
 as leadership quality,
maintaining
Correct word choice
and maintaining
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 relationships apart from
parents
.
This
 is because in university people come from different backgrounds and will represent different cultures, so these
students
 will learn from each other and will develop as an all-rounder, decisive character who is ready to function in
this
 world. Another reason
for
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apply
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students
 should live away from their homes is,
they
Correct word choice
that they
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 become more responsible in terms of
taking
Correct your spelling
making
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 decisions and how to live on a budget.
In other words
, these
students
 either live in any nearby hostels or rent a house and live as paying guests. They need to spend their money wisely on necessary things,
handle
Correct word choice
and handle
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 both landlords and housemates.
This
 indirectly helps them to learn how to balance
then
Correct your spelling
their
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finance
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finances
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 when they start earning their salary.
However
, it is not possible for every student to live away from home as some might not have enough finances to support
such
 situations, so in that case, they live with their
parents
 until they are capable of supporting themselves.
To conclude
, it might not be feasible for some, but living away from
parents
 during university study
help
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helps
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 them develop skills and character which will be useful for their entire life.
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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relevant specific examples
Ensure that each main idea is fully elaborated with specific examples and details. For instance, you can provide a specific scenario where a student living away from home had significant personal growth.
logical structure
Maintain a logical flow by improving transitions between paragraphs. Use cohesive devices like 'Moreover', 'Additionally', or 'Furthermore' to enhance coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion. This helps in maintaining a coherent structure.
complete response
The essay demonstrates a complete response to the prompt, addressing both sides of the argument and clearly stating the writer's position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • time management
  • organizational skills
  • diverse social environments
  • broader network
  • professional contacts
  • accommodation
  • financial burden
  • emotional support
  • psychological support
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • academic pressures
  • familial support system
  • distraction
  • focused study environment
What to do next:
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