It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family relationships and communication to what extent do you agree or disagree.
It has become a recent trend that each family member has their own electric
devices
, which has become a primary reason for the corruption of their Fix the agreement mistake
device
relationships
and Use synonyms
communication
. I partially support Use synonyms
this
view, for more prolonged hours they spend in isolation negatively affects how they communicate regardless of modern Linking Words
technology
encouraging their Use synonyms
relationships
in a more creative way.
On the one hand, the growing possession of electric devices in Use synonyms
family
leads to their Add an article
the family
seperation
as they lack actual interactions. Correct your spelling
separation
In other words
, they are less motivated to talk with one another when they are provided with a range of services from online games to shopping by Linking Words
the
recent technologies. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, almost 30% of young adults in Japan spend as long as 10 hours a day using smartphones mainly for SNS, which discourages them from building intimate Linking Words
relationships
with their parents and siblings. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, their Linking Words
relationships
are aggravated and some of them even act violently as they lose trust Use synonyms
on
them with their growing addiction to modern Change preposition
in
technology
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, current Linking Words
technology
often leads to a better understanding as they have made Use synonyms
communication
more flexible. Indeed, the appearance of new technologies allows people to talk Use synonyms
like
a Change preposition
in
rea-llife coversation
thanks to Correct your spelling
real-life conversation
a
high quality of cameras and recordings, making them satisfied without a sense of isolation. To illustrate Correct article usage
the
this
, children staying overseas are more likely to appreciate Linking Words
support
from parents as they can receive Add an article
the support
encourgement
from Correct your spelling
encouragement
virutal
conversations with various pictures and videos. Correct your spelling
virtual
Therefore
, Linking Words
technology
has made Use synonyms
communication
much easier, allowing family to share mutual information to deepen their understanding.
In conclusion, I somewhat believe that modern Use synonyms
technology
damages family Use synonyms
relationships
Use synonyms
due to
the lack of face-to-face Linking Words
communication
. Use synonyms
However
, it Linking Words
also
Linking Words
encourges
them to interact more freely so they have a deeper understanding of each other.Correct your spelling
encourages
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task achievement
While your essay provides a balanced approach to the topic, the argument could be strengthened by providing more specific examples or statistical data in addition to the Japanese example. Including counter-arguments and addressing them could also make the discussion more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, you could improve the transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one point to another.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a slightly clearer structure, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea. This would help to make your argument even more coherent and easier to follow for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
The points you make are well-supported and relevant, providing a solid foundation for your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, addressing both the positive and negative aspects of modern technology in family relationships.