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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie chart shows the factors that negatively affect the development of agricultural land around the world,while the table illustrates the process of land degradation in the three main regions of these factors.

The pie chart shows the factors that negatively affect the development of agricultural land around the world,while the table illustrates the process of land degradation in the three main regions of these factors.
#factors #development #land #world #process #degradation #three #regions
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The pie chart illustrates the main negative factors affecting the development of agricultural lands
accross
Correct your spelling
across
 the world, and the table shows the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of degradation
over
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the regions, and the causes of it in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
.
Overall
, over-grazing was the most dangerous with 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, after that, 30% for deforestation, 28%
over-cultivation
Change preposition
for over-cultivation
show examples
, and 7% for other. For the distribution of reasons over regions, Europe has the highest
degredation
Correct your spelling
degradation
 consisting mainly of deforestation; followed by 13% in Oceania;
5
Correct word choice
and 5
show examples
% in North America.
Submitted by aojubair1 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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