IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart shows the rate of smoking in men and women in Britain between 1900 and 1950.

The chart shows the rate of smoking in men and women in Britain between 1900 and 1950.
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The line chart compares the
number
Use synonyms
 of
smokers
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 who smoked in
Britain
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 from 1900 to 1950.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
smokers
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 was men,
While
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of female
smokers
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 who smoked in
Britain
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 was lowest in the given
years
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. In terms of
smokers
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, more than 600 male
smokers
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 out of
thousand
Correct article usage
a thousand
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 people smoked in
Brotain
Correct your spelling
Britain
 in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1900,and female
smokers
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
 100 in the same
years
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. Between 1900 and 1920, male
smokers
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 decreased from above 600 to almost 520, but for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, the
number
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 increased from below 100 to around 350, an increase of 250 over 20
years
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 in
Britain
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. For the remaining
years
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, the
number
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 of male
smokers
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 who smoked in
Britain
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 decreased slowly to almost 200 from 520 between the
years
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1900 and 1950, a decrease of nearly 320 over 30
years
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, female
smokers
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 remained stable in the
years
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 of 1920 and 1930, at 350. For the next 20
years
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 figure decreased to around 180 in 1950.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, smokers, britain, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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