the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement
The most important goal of
science
should be to improve people
’s lives
. I partly agree with this
statement because the development of science
gives benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
for
humans but often sacrifices other creatures’ Change preposition
to
lives
.
The important aim of science
can probably improve humans’ lives
since this
science
gives
many benefits Verb problem
provides
for
Change preposition
to
people
. One of those is a tube baby program. This
program allows people
who have difficulties to get
a baby to get a solution by using a fertilization process Change the verb form
getting
in
out of Change preposition
apply
mother’s
belly. Many Correct article usage
the mother’s
believes
that if Change the verb form
believe
people
strict
Add a missing verb
are strict
to use
the Change preposition
in using
convensional
way, they may Correct your spelling
conventional
wait
the baby for a longer time or even Add the preposition
wait for
can
not have it. Verb problem
apply
This
is because of some healthy
issues, Replace the word
health
such
as the low quality of either the sperm or ovum. Therefore
, the aim of the
Correct article usage
apply
science
to improve people
’s live
can be achieved for a good reason, Replace the word
lives
such
as to maintain the world populacy’s growth rate.
However
, in the
Correct article usage
apply
science
’s research and development process, many people
often find the sacrifices of other creatures, such
as animals. For example
, the sciencetist
often uses Correct your spelling
scientist
scientists
mouses
for the object of experiments before implementing them Replace the word
mice
to
humans. Change preposition
on
In
many occasions, many find that the experiment may not strictly obey the rules and Change preposition
On
so
cruel Add a missing verb
is so
for
these animals. I thinkChange preposition
to
,
Remove the comma
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
sciencetists
should ensure the Correct your spelling
scientists
standar
of Correct your spelling
standard
process
Add an article
the process
allowed
perfectly to avoid Add a missing verb
is allowed
an
unethical thing making animals Correct article usage
apply
suffered
. Wrong verb form
suffer
Thus
, the aim of science
to improve people
’s live
can be achieved without Replace the word
lives
harms
other creatures.
In Wrong verb form
harming
conclusion
I partly agree with the statement that the most important goal of Add a comma
conclusion,
science
should be to improve people
’s lives
since the development of science
gives benefit for humans but often sacrifices other creatures’ lives
.Submitted by adittyafatma on
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task achievement
To improve your task response, aim to provide more comprehensive examples and specific details to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
general
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as well as to the use of more academic vocabulary and varied sentence structures to take your writing to the next level.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure for your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, demonstrating the ability to consider different perspectives. This is a strong point in your task response.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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