The chart below shows what anthropology graduate fron one university did after finishing their undergarduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologyist in work after five years.

The chart below shows what anthropology graduate fron one university did after finishing their undergarduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologyist in work after five years.
The pie chart depicts the proportion of anthropology
graduates
destination after graduating undergraduate degree from a particular university,
while
the table illustrates the percentage of
anthropologists
Change noun form
anthropologists'
anthropologist's
show examples
income after working
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
five years in three types of employment.
Overall
, it can be seen that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
graduates
have full-time
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
after finishing university, and after five years
working
Change preposition
of working
show examples
,
anthrologists
Correct your spelling
anthropologists
anthologists
who work in
government
sectors have the highest
salary
. After finishing university, most of
anthropoly
Correct your spelling
anthropology
graduates
continue to full-time working, accounting for 52%.
Following
this
,
graduates
who continue as part-time workers have similar
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
with unemployed
graduates
, amounting to 15% and 12%, respectively.
While
there is 8% of
graduates
who do not know their plans, remaining
graduates
decide to reach a higher degree. It shows
8
Correct word choice
that 8
show examples
% of
graduates
continue to fully study postgraduate qualification and 5% of them continue to pursue a
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
degree
while
part-time working. Moving to the table, the
group
of $25,000-$49,000
salary
has the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
percentage across all three sectors, freelance
consultant
(5%),
government
sector
(5%) and private
companies
(10%).
Following
this
,
Add an article
an anthropologist
the anthropologist
show examples
anthropologist
Fix the agreement mistake
anthropologists
show examples
who
receive
Change the verb form
receives
show examples
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
group
of $50,000-$74,000 was 15% in freelance
consultant
and
government
sector
,
while
private
companies
show
proportion
Correct article usage
a proportion
show examples
of 35%. The next
salary
group
is $75,000-$99,999 exhibits increasing percentages from
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
group
, which are 40% (freelance
consultant
), 30% (
government
sector
), and 25% (private
companies
).
Then
, the rate of anthropologists who have income
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
than $100,000 in freelance
consultant
Fix the agreement mistake
consultants
show examples
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
the same as the previous data.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
sector
follows with 52% and
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
companies
' percentage is 30%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "following this, while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, government, salary, group, consultant, sector, companies with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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