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Band 5

The chart below shows what anthropology graduate fron one university did after finishing their undergarduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologyist in work after five years.

The chart below shows what anthropology graduate fron one university did after finishing their undergarduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologyist in work after five years.
#anthropology #graduate #fron #university #undergarduate #course #salaries #anthropologyist #work #five #years
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The pie chart depicts the proportion of anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 destination after graduating undergraduate degree from a particular university,
while
Linking Words
 the table illustrates the percentage of
anthropologists
Change noun form
anthropologists'
anthropologist's
show examples
 income after working
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 five years in three types of employment.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
 have full-time
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 after finishing university, and after five years
working
Change preposition
of working
show examples
,
anthrologists
Correct your spelling
anthropologists
anthologists
 who work in
government
Use synonyms
 sectors have the highest
salary
Use synonyms
. After finishing university, most of
anthropoly
Correct your spelling
anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 continue to full-time working, accounting for 52%.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
graduates
Use synonyms
 who continue as part-time workers have similar
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 with unemployed
graduates
Use synonyms
, amounting to 15% and 12%, respectively.
While
Linking Words
 there is 8% of
graduates
Use synonyms
 who do not know their plans, remaining
graduates
Use synonyms
 decide to reach a higher degree. It shows
8
Correct word choice
that 8
show examples
% of
graduates
Use synonyms
 continue to fully study postgraduate qualification and 5% of them continue to pursue a
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
 degree
while
Linking Words
 part-time working. Moving to the table, the
group
Use synonyms
 of $25,000-$49,000
salary
Use synonyms
 has the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 percentage across all three sectors, freelance
consultant
Use synonyms
 (5%),
government
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
 (5%) and private
companies
Use synonyms
 (10%).
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
Add an article
an anthropologist
the anthropologist
show examples
anthropologist
Fix the agreement mistake
anthropologists
show examples
 who
receive
Change the verb form
receives
show examples
Use synonyms
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 of $50,000-$74,000 was 15% in freelance
consultant
Use synonyms
 and
government
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sector
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 private
companies
Use synonyms
 show
proportion
Correct article usage
a proportion
show examples
 of 35%. The next
salary
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 is $75,000-$99,999 exhibits increasing percentages from
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
group
Use synonyms
, which are 40% (freelance
consultant
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), 30% (
government
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
), and 25% (private
companies
Use synonyms
).
Then
Linking Words
, the rate of anthropologists who have income
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 than $100,000 in freelance
Use synonyms
consultant
Fix the agreement mistake
consultants
show examples
remain
Change the verb form
remains
show examples
 the same as the previous data.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 follows with 52% and
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
companies
Use synonyms
' percentage is 30%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "following this, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, government, salary, group, consultant, sector, companies with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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