IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some places, young people find it difficult to communicate with older people. Why is this? What are the solutions?

#places #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Young
people
Use synonyms
 find it difficult to communicate with older
people
Use synonyms
 because of
gap
Add an article
the gap
a gap
show examples
 in different
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 and
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 of old
people
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as slow movement,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
 health
symtom
Correct your spelling
symptoms
. The solution for the gap in different
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 is to try to understand old
people
Use synonyms
 and explain why young
people
Use synonyms
 think and do that way. And the solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
physical
Add an article
the physical
a physical
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 is to take care
and
Change preposition
of and
show examples
 be kind when living with old
people
Use synonyms
. Communicate with them slowly,
clearly
Correct word choice
and clearly
show examples
. Explain something when they don't understand you and your friend.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay could be improved by expanding on reasons why young people find it difficult to communicate with older people. Try including more examples or scenarios to clarify your points.
task achievement
Consider providing more comprehensive solutions with specific strategies, which could help to better demonstrate a full response to the question.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your conclusion to succinctly summarize your main ideas and provide a lasting impression for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Organizing the essay into clear paragraphs with distinct functions (introduction, body, conclusion) could greatly enhance the logical structure.
task achievement
You have correctly identified several challenges to communication between young and older people, such as generational gaps and physical issues.
coherence cohesion
The essay highlights a thoughtful approach to bridging the generational gap by fostering understanding and patience.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological proficiency
  • communication gap
  • digital tools
  • worldviews
  • common ground
  • contemporary slang
  • informal language
  • misunderstandings
  • social hierarchy
  • cultural norms
  • stereotypes
  • prejudices
  • open communication
  • out of touch
  • inexperienced
  • effective communication
  • intergenerational programs
  • cross-generational activities
  • mutual respect
  • active listening
What to do next:
Look at other essays: