IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation. Others believe that these events are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, a gradual hike has been seen in international sporting
events
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, which recently sparked a debate where some
people
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 believe that these
events
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 reflect the standard of a nation
however
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 , other feels them an unnecessary waste of money. I agree with the first statement and will explain the reasons
further
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 in the essay.
To begin
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 with, the prime benefit of hosting an international sports
programs
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program
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 is that it provides an opportunity to express the hospitality of the
country
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 . Foreigners
while
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 exploring leave the
country
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 with an impact that how they were treated
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while
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during
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 their stay. So building a good impression always helps to grow future relationships among nations and
people
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 .
For instance
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 ,
last
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 year Cricket World Cup was hosted by India hosted around 10 million foreigners and ended up with hype that India has grown well.
Hence
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 the outcome was in favour of India which earned huge respect from the whole world.
Moreover
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, fans visit the nation to watch sports programs
also
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 explore tourist places and spend huge money. With the help of these activities, the tourism industry earns huge revenue in the
country
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 and many
people
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 benefit from these international guests.
For example
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 , every tourist books a hotel in advance to stay and
then
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 explore different markets and purchase local goods.
Therefore
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 , local
people
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 earn huge incomes from these travellers. International customers and income helps
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country
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the country
a country
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 to grow as well.
To conclude
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 , I would like to assert that, It is highly beneficial to host international sporting
events
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 on a regular basis to showcase the
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country
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country's
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 growth and
also
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 to promote local businesses to get international customers so I always agree to host
such
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events
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 .

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introduction & conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively presented. However, ensure the introduction is more concise and directly addresses both views discussed in the prompt. This will set a clearer context for your essay.
clear & comprehensive ideas
While your ideas are generally clear, some sentences could be simplified for better clarity. For example, 'Foreigners while exploring leave the country with an impact that how they were treated while their stay.' could be phrased more clearly as 'Foreigners visiting for the event will form an impression based on their hospitality experience.'
logical structure
Make sure to maintain a consistent structure by using clear topic sentences for each paragraph. This will enhance the logical flow and ensure each point is effectively highlighted.
relevant examples
You have included relevant examples to support your points, such as the Cricket World Cup example for India's growing reputation.
introduction & conclusion
The conclusion effectively reinforces your main argument and neatly summarizes your points.
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